Flowers in California

Flowers in California

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I Like Writing

Today I had to do an assignment for a writing class that I'm taking. I had left it until the last day. I worked on it throughout the day and admit that by the end, I had the word count toolbar on the screen and was just trying to get enough words. It wasn't the most exciting assignment in the world. Still though, it was writing and that's good.

I don't know yet where this writing thing will lead. I am just looking for opportunities to write. It's getting to the point, maybe, that I have to write. I have to find an avenue for expression. I don't know if I can express how excited I am about writing.

I have always been intrigued by the idea of people finding what they are supposed to be doing. I remember, years ago, looking at the work of a Mad magazine writer or artist and just knowing that he was doing exactly what he should be doing. I see actors born to act, paramedics who can handle that line of work, cooks born to cook, teachers born to teach and the list could go on and on. How are people seemingly designed for certain roles? It makes me think that maybe God plans this out. I find it a really interesting thing to figure out or at least to think about.

For me, writing may be my thing. I'm not saying I'm extremely talented at it but I believe that I have some aptitude for it and obviously, some interest. (It's 11:58 at night and I'm writing by choice. There's interest.) I hope that everyone finds or has found something that they love doing. It's truly great when you find it.


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Pizza Lunch

I worked at a pizza lunch at my son's school today. That involves a little organization and distribution work in a lunchroom. Someone else organizes the whole things so it's not too difficult. It is confusing getting the right pizza choices to the right students and it's very loud but it's not bad. It's really nice actually because I get to see and help the students. Kids are great. I just love helping these people and it's so rewarding. I don't know how the lunchroom supervisors do it every day but it 's so nice to see how many great kids there are and that's just in one lunchroom in the world.


Too Busy

Today I was too busy. I still am. It's 11:21 and I'm writing my blog. I like being busy but sometimes it's busy-ness without quality and it's just plain tiring. By the time I had my great marketing class this evening, there wasn't much left of me. I guess the key is to finding out the things that are worthwhile and avoiding doing things that aren't. I'm glad to be out in the world these days but I am sure looking forward to my date with my pillow too.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stay Tuned - 2 Entries Tomorrow

I don't think that I ate well enough today. My brain is offering up nothing for me to write tonight. That and the fact that my husband needs the computer mean I will head to bed. I give up. I throw my hands up in the air and say "This day is done." For me, it was an o.k. one. And now it's done.

There's no guarantee I'll be loaded with inspiration tomorrow. But there's always that hope.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Signs of the Past

I heard on the news last week about people who swam over to a deserted island at Disney World and snooped around. They took pictures. They got in trouble. Disney doesn't like that. I wouldn't really want to make Disney mad.

Now, I have enjoyed my few trips to Disney parks and hope to go again soon. They are magical places. But, I may be more fascinated to explore the deserted island than the places you're supposed to go. Abandoned places can be fascinating.

I am a generally well-behaved person and don't do the urban exploring that some people do but I am really intrigued by what these people find. I've seen pictures of an abandoned water park at Disney World too. It was so recognizable for what it had been but so obviously out of use now.

Closer to home, home being in 2 cities, I am fascinated by things like the generally unused subway station in Toronto that is under the Bay subway station. I am also fascinated that there were plans for something else at the Queen Street station too and I forget whether it was dug out or not. In the neighbourhood where I grew up, I find it interesting that there are 2 houses that predate everything else built there. What was it like there when they were built? And, if there was farmland all around, why were they built so close together? I am fascinated by old department stores and would like to snoop around every nook and cranny and see how things used to be. Were there lovely old restaurants? There may be hidden beauty. In Winnipeg, which is not home but is very interesting, the Eaton's downtown store was loaded in history. Sadly, it was taken down. I do have a book about it though.

In so many towns, there used to be railroad stations and now they're gone. There may be a Railway Street left behind, however, and finding it and the train tracks (if they're still there) may lead to the station site. In the city where I live now, my family has done a little research and driving around to find a former train station that is now apartments. I just find that so interesting.

I could go on and on but I won't. Suffice it to say there are also underground tunnels between buildings (which may or may not be used anymore), abandoned hotels and motels (which kind of freak me out), abandoned malls, old theatres (most theatres where I had dates are gone now), old amusement parks, old schools (which I don't like), abandoned towns and more. OK, I did go on and on. I like this stuff.

There are so many little bits of history around from times to which we can relate. I have a bit more trouble with the times when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I'm not interested in old battlefields but studying traces of history from our rapidly changing world is a real interest of mine. And having interests just helps make life fun.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Cleaning May be Fun

I'm starting to think that housecleaning can be at least somewhat enjoyable. Certainly the results are enjoyable but maybe the actual cleaning isn't all that bad too. I realized the other day that I like vacuuming and I don't mind cleaning kitchen counters. Hey, even cleaning the bathroom facilities is not the end of the world.

Issues, or at least my issues, with cleaning may arise from the apparent large scale operation that it seems to be. It's when the tasks are addressed individually that they're not that bad.

Having things a mess and not clean can also be a way of hiding or a way of punishing oneself. I really enjoy a clean, tidy house and I haven't given myself that pleasure. There may be a new beginning here as I appreciate my home and myself more than I have.

Whatever's going on, I'm sitting in a kitchen that is looking pretty much like it should and I know that a lot of other things around the house are coming along. It always has mattered to me and now it's starting to show.

I'm going downstairs to see my rabbit soon. I won't even pretend that her room is in good condition. I hope it's o.k. to have one room of shame. It's just a lot better when it's one and not every room in the house.


Friday, April 23, 2010


While out in the city this week, I enjoyed looking at many houses and condos but one house in particular caught my eye. It was not the nicest or biggest but I found it interesting. Surrounded by trees, it looked looked it was trying to put up a wall between it and the world around it. I can see why. It's on a corner lot, at the bottom of a hill, across from a transit station and near a very busy road. Its need for walls is apparent.

While that house has more reason than some to put up barriers, I'm struck by the idea that all homes are somewhat like it. The residents try to have a place where they can stake their claim and feel protected from the world. In whatever size or style around the world, and whether owned or rented, people want and need some kind of home. And what a treasure it is to have one.

I remember seeing a woman on tv sweeping her little hut somewhere. She had pride in it. I think of that sometimes as I try to keep my house clean.

As I try to convey what I am feeling (and I'm having some trouble) I feel a sense of gratitude or reverence or something for my home. It's not big and I can find many things I'd like to change but I think that appreciation for it is in order. It is home and I should honour it and do my best to keep it clean and ready to share with others.

Our homes are not fortresses; we can try to stake our claim but security is always somewhat of an illusion. But, in this life where nothing is ever guaranteed, our homes provide a place where we can live and gather and grow and rest. I'm grateful for my home.



Thursday, April 22, 2010

OK, I Really Don't Understand Twitter

Last evening in my wonderful marketing class, my incredibly savvy instructor talked about and showed examples of Twitter. I didn't understand it and decided to sign up for it to see how it works. Admittedly I have not spent a lot of time looking at it yet but, I must say, I am really confused now.

For some reason, I thought that I could just choose whoever or whatever I wanted to follow and I'd be tweeted when there were new Tweets. By the way, I think this Tweet stuff sounds ridiculous. If my brother hates the name blog (and he does) I can only imagine what he thinks of Tweeting. Anyways, I signed up for some interesting writing things. Next thing I knew, I was being told that people who are totally unknown to me are following me. Think about it: They're following me. I have nothing to "Tweet," I don't know how to be Tweeted or whether it hurts when you are, and I may scrap the whole thing some time tomorrow. And yet, somewhere in the world, there are people that think I will be worth following. Imagine the utter lack of meaning in their lives. Wow.

So, I'd say I have a bad taste for Twitter. I just don't get it. I like Google Alerts. With them, I enter a topic and get an email daily about new online information on that topic. That's all I want from Twitter. Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe technology has finally gone just too far beyond me. Or maybe Twitter is something I simply don't need.

Oh, and there's also Foursquare. That's a whole other online world. I may almost understand that one but, again, do I need to?


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Lot of Bits and Pieces

For my second blog entry tonight, I don't think I really have anything to put into words yet. I have bits and pieces floating around in my head. There are ideas, there's some despair, some hope and some confusion.

I'm still trying to find my way. I guess a lot of us are.

By the way, for anyone out there who's done Myers-Briggs testing, I'd be interested to hear what types you are. I know for some of you and have enjoyed finding that out. In my opinion, those type descriptions contain a lot of truth. There are Myers-Briggs tests online and on Facebook. The Facebook one turned up the same type for me as other tests have. I'm an INFP.

I'll try to write some better blog entries soon. Two courses and lots going on has been a bit much for me lately. Sorry about that.


Wanted: One Beach

Yes. I want a beach. I want a beach on a large body of water. I want it to be close to my home. I don't know what to do about that.

I love to walk on the beach. I could put that in a singles ad, if I was single. I almost feel that I need to walk on the beach. But I don't have a beach anywhere near where I live that's of any size at all.

I know that largely, we make the most of wherever we live. Every place has its good and bad elements. But we only get one chance at life and I've never going to live by a beach if I keep living here. Sorry. I love my friends here and some other things about the city but long walks on the beach just aren't happening.

Just something I wonder about it. I know that there are Beaches elsewhere.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Two Blogs Tomorrow!

Well, it's 11:34 and it seems like it's past time for a blog entry. I'm sleepy and probably not at my best. Today was much better than yesterday. I even had my hair photographed. But I just don't have it in me to write much of anything tonight.

I hope that everyone had a good day. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone in the world did?

Thought for the day - True friends are so much better than riches. I feel so blessed to have my friends.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Good Input, Bad Output

Today, I finish off not feeling particularly happy. Nothing horrible happened to me or my family, and that is good. I hope that other people are also doing well. But it was a day where I seemed to do the right things but some wrong things happened. Some things that hurt a little bit, each individually, and added up, kinda hurt enough to say that this wasn't a great day.

I caught up on some nagging things around the house, I went for a walk in beautiful weather, it seemed like it should be a good day. But small things happened and that's just the way it is.

I still feel like I have accomplished little in life some times and that, somehow, I still am the odd woman out. I still wish I could get past my neuroses or whatever and do things in life, in the house, in this world.

I guess it's 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I'll take at least 1 more step forward tomorrow. And get where I need to go.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

My Shower Curtain is Wearing Out!

I don't like to waste things. Sadly, I do throw food out sometimes. That's a shame. With other things though, if something still works, and is used, I keep it. It would be hard to get rid of a shower curtain in perfect condition. Even if it is about 17 years old.

I bought this shower curtain at K-Mart in Bayview Village Mall. Some people will know where that mall is. Yes, there was a K-Mart there. And it had good shower curtains.

While I like to update things, I don't like to throw things out for no good reason. And I don't know that a charity would want an old shower curtain.

I will wash this shower curtain and have another look at it. If it is indeed worn out, I will get rid of it in good conscience. Otherwise, it will go back up and continue doing its job. Landfills have enough items in them without any needless contributions from me.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Look at What's New!

Well, nothing yet. But I hope that there will be new things.

The world didn't get to where it is, and I like to believe it's at a pretty amazing place, without new ideas. I'd love to come up with some. How does one really do that? What new things are of value?

I'm not necessarily talking about physical things. No new kitchen gadgets or types of tv. Please no more types of tv. My husband talks about too many of them now. What about new ideas, new groups where people talk about or try to address concerns people have never formed groups for previously, what about new ways to share spirituality or look for God. What about new ways to help.

I wonder what wonderful new concepts we will all develop. How exciting!


The World Needs Bunny Huggers - Really

At a class the other night, I met a woman who works at the local Humane Society. Soon we were discussing my pet rabbits. She was grateful that I had adopted some of them from the Society.

Not long into our conversation, she asked if I would like to volunteer as a Bunny Hugger. I knew about this role. People come in and literally hug the bunnies that are living at the shelter. Once she said it, I started thinking that maybe I would like to do that. I did say, though, that I should hug my own rabbit more. And that is true.

I do not devote as much time to my pet as I could and probably should. I love her, I try to keep her favourite food in the house (carrot tops), I try to keep her house clean and I try to let her out to play. I'm better at some of those things than others. My intentions are good.

The thing for me to keep in mind is that helping one pet rabbit or any other animal is a good thing to do. It doesn't mean that I have to help or save every other animal too. If only we could. But we can't. I could go and hug every bunny; I could bring some more home. I could (easily) become the Crazy Rabbit Lady. If already I don't always do enough for Freckles, things could really deteriorate if I had more. So, if I know my limitations and do what I can, there's no need to feel that I should do more. To my rabbit Freckles, I mean a lot and helping her makes the world a teeny bit better.

I remember the Starfish story, used in a United Way campaign one year, I believe. Here is a link to that story:

It's nice to make a difference to one. I will go and get Freckles out.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Bonus - 2 Blog Entries Tomorrow

Stay tuned! Tomorrow - 2 entries!! None tonight except for this brief (and oh so exciting) announcement about the 2 entries tomorrow. I have no idea what they'll be. And this assumes I'll feel way more energetic and inspired than I do now. We can only hope.

Take care everyone.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Wonderful Course I'm Taking

This entry will be brief. I'm very tired. I had to open my eyes to start this post.

Part of the reason that I am tired is that I went to my Marketing course this evening. It's part of the PR certificate that I'm doing. I didn't expect to like the course too much and find some marketing kind of shady but this course is great. I don't think I've ever taken a more enjoyable class.

The instructor is truly a star and tries to give us as much information as she possibly can. She does that in class and on the Blackboard system that we sign on to outside of class. The Blackboard system is amazing too. We do not have to take notes in class (although that's a hard habit to break) as the material from class is posted there along with our assignments, announcements and grades. It's a great use of technology.

Other uses for technology make appearances in this course too. Social media is a large part of marketing now. It is incredible learning about all the tools available.

For me, this course is just so interesting. The time flies by and I look forward to getting into the course material in my free time. Taking all of these courses is a great way to build confidence, learn and feel like a part of the world again. I love this!

And now to sleep...


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Help when we can

Right now I feel that the material in some of my blog entries has been a bit trivial. This is especially when one considers what other people are going through. It's really not the end of the world to live on a quiet street, have too many books and have a tendency to overshop. I've had serious issues in my life too but none of the things listed above is very troubling.

Without naming any names at all or pointing in any directions at all, I will say that I am concerned about a friend of mine. She doesn't deserve her present situation. It's just not right at all.

In life, bad things happen. Everyone knows it. When they happen to us, it can be hard to reach out for help. But reaching out does help and people will help. When bad things happen to other people, it can be hard too. We don't want to invade privacy, we don't know if we're close enough to help, we may fear doing something wrong. It's worth trying though. It really is. Happiness doesn't always come from good things happening. Sometimes happiness comes from the help that people give us in really bad times. I'm so grateful that we all have the ability to help each other when we need it.


Monday, April 12, 2010

Weekday at home in the Suburbs

It's not a dark and stormy evening but it's a grey and drizzly afternoon here. That seems about as bad.

I don't know that I've written any blogs entries in the afternoon. Today, this is the perfect time to do it as what I'm writing about, I'm experiencing right now. Let me explain.

I have been home from work downtown since I left one Friday afternoon and didn't know that I'd have my baby 2 months early the next Friday afternoon. That was 9 1/2 years ago tomorrow. Wow. Since then I've worked for over a year in a preschool. I loved the kids but wasn't challenged. I thought I'd leave and easily find a new job. Quickly the job market changed and jobs disappeared. Here I am. I'm waiting for a turnaround and taking courses. And writing in a blog.

You see, despite the fact that I think it was wonderful to be with my son during his early years and I wouldn't trade it at all, I don't enjoy being at home during the day here. I hate it. It hates me. I developed anxiety beyond any I'd had before (although that's a lot better now). I don't excel domestically, I'm not intellectually challenged and except for getting together with friends and spending time on the computer, I don't know how much I enjoy at all.

Some people love this role. And that is great. People have many different talents and interests and some do very well at home. I don't.

I went to the mall and grocery store today and as I came to my street, I noticed the almost complete lack of movement on it, again. It's just so still and numbing.

I have had occasion recently to be in a trendy part of the city that is closer to downtown. There are people walking, interesting stores, restaurants, old buildings, traffic, life. I love it down there. It seems to love me back and make me feel alive.

I have to get out there, somehow. I am going to get out there. I will have to work around my son's schedule as he is my number one priority. But I'm a priority too and I need to thrive again.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Oranges and Apples and More

Today I was sitting in my living room eating a small orange. It could have been a clementine or a tangerine. I just know that it was small and it was orange and it tasted pretty good.

As I ate the orange, I wondered about what health benefits an orange brings. So many foods are touted for this or that benefit. It led me to thinking about apples and the adage about eating an apple a day keeping the doctor away. I wondered if when that was first said, people had ready access to apples like we do now. Maybe not.

I can't pretend that I appreciate how lucky we are to have so many fruits and vegetables available. I don't know any other way. My family and I don't always eat enough of them but they're available. When we do eat them, we enjoy them. Mostly. There are some vegetable complaints.

In this world, we hear that too many people don't have access to anywhere near enough food. And we do. It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't seem right. For me, thinking a little about the food I eat helps me understand how precious it is and the incredible importance of it to our lives. I'm not saying that this helps anyone else but maybe it's a start.

And clearly, I don't eat only local food or I would not be eating an orange. It's hard to do everything we should do. So hard.


Friday, April 9, 2010

Don't Tell Anyone

Here's a secret: I can cook. I don't cook good things often and I get out of it when I can but, if I apply myself in the kitchen, I can cook. Once in a while I even cook well. And I am pretty darn good at baking. So, there's hope. But what goes wrong most nights of the week?

Well, I don't plan. I don't plan when I buy groceries and I don't plan dinner early in the day. I shouldn't really be surprised by now when dinnertime arrives but it would seem that I am. This is not a proud tale. I want to change this situation. I bought a slow cooker and I appreciate that it is a good idea. But, I don't think ahead and use it. Just what is going on here?

While the planning would help, I know that before dinner, my mind is not at its best. Maybe it's low blood sugar. Whatever it is, I need to eat and I need to eat fast. Sometimes I may even be a bit grumpy before dinner. There are people who would confirm that. I won't ask them.

So, whatever stops me from cooking well, I want to stop it. I was looking on the Internet for new art prints to hang on our kitchen wall tonight and I found a set of prints entitled "Passion for Cooking" by Charlene Winter Olson. I wondered if I could develop such a passion. Could I lovingly chop vegetables and saute things and mix sauces and come up with wonderful meals? I hope so. I'm going to try. Good food is important. It's certainly worth some more effort.

I wish, for so many reasons, that we could have baked goods for dinner. That would really make things easier.


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Trying new things!

While my son and I were walking to his bus stop this morning, we passed some men who had been working on a tree. They had probably sawn it up and were taking it away. That's pretty good before 8:45 in the morning. Whatever they had done, there was a beautiful, natural smell in the air. I loved it and was instantly transported back to a forest somewhere. I felt like I would like to be in a forest again. I like the outdoors but rarely find myself in a natural woodsy setting.

This got me thinking about how many other things I and other people would enjoy, whether we've tried the things before or not, but we just don't do them. There are so many, many things to do wherever one lives and for me at least, I have my accepted list of activities and I don't often try much new. How sad.

I know that, maybe about 4 or 5 years ago, I ended up at a little girl's birthday party with my son and tried roller skating for the first time in a very long while. I kind of got the hang of it and thought that I should try new things more often. Hey, recently, I was bold and tried sun dried tomato couscous. That paid off as I loved it. I seems that when I have tried things, the effort can really be worth it. But why don't I try things more often?

I guess one reason is that I don't look for opportunities. I find that I can become somewhat comfortable with my life as it is and not feel a need to venture into new domains. I should look around though and see what's out there. Activities don't have to be expensive - one can go for a nature walk, take an art class through continuing education, form a group of writers, or readers, or mothers, or fathers, or cooks (I wouldn't be in the last 2). There are opportunities to volunteer or try rollerskating or swimming or skating or rock climbing. I've been interested in rock climbing for a while despite a longtime fear of heights. I realize I am not even scratching the surface of possibilities here - I guess I haven't looked for any for a while . But I'm just pointing out that there are so many things to try that might help us experience more of life's richness.

I don't know what I'll do in response to this. Tonight I think I'll watch 30 Rock and go to bed. Admittedly, neither is too innovative. Maybe I'll sit in a different spot for the show. You see, I do need to try new things. And I think trying things bigger than moving to a new seat will prove to be very wonderful.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Joy Within

Some of my posts have had a theme of decluttering. Some have had a theme of not buying more clutter. I'm glad they tie together. It would seem crazy if I reported throwing out boxes and boxes of things and then going on wild spending sprees. Although I do want shoes. I like shoes and they're pretty important. And fun.

Anyways, I am happy to report that focusing less on things and the accumulation of them has in no way resulted in me being less happy. I have ups and downs but having fewer things seems to make no difference at all. The items are not missed - new or old. I want to see even more empty space.

The thing I find interesting at this point is that, while marketers try to make us believe that we should buy things that can bring us joy and so many other wonderful feelings, the place where I have found a great deal of joy lately is in sitting at this desk and writing this blog. Yes, I need a computer but it was already here. I simply looked within and, with some encouragement, found what I needed to do.

I'm not saying that this blog is earth-shattering or anything but I am saying that we don't need to keep looking outside to find joy. Sometimes it with us all along. Waiting to be found.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Standing (and Standing) in Line at the Grocery Store

This evening I went grocery shopping with my son. It was 10% Tuesday. I like to get there for the savings and saved over $60. The savings is based on prices at a relatively expensive store but still, it's better than paying full price. And my son accompanied me and really helped. He's great.

For some reason, although the line-up wasn't long, there was a delay with the customer in front of us. The cashier had to look through the items on the receipt, sort out something with the customer and generally delay me from getting home to eat. I had already remained very cheerful through another mysterious delay at Starbucks. But I do stay cheerful as best I can. It doesn't do any good to put anger out there into the world.

As I stood there, and stood there, I had time to look at a number of magazines that were conveniently placed at the cash desk. Some of them dealt with how to get organized. Well, there's less to organize if you don't buy magazines. I bought none of them. Some dealt with better ways to clean. I can figure that out on my own. I just have to do it. Some dealt with entertainers with whom I am not familiar. Those ones were easy to turn down.

It seems nice to me to buy a magazine at the grocery store. I remember my Dad doing that for my Mum when he did the shopping. But the magazines come home and the magazines pile up. And what are we really buying? If I see the word "Organized," I'm tempted to buy the magazine because I want to be organized. Here's my money, I like that idea. And so it goes with other words and concepts relating to self-discovery, friendship, weight loss, quick meals, super foods, health, and exercise. And more. Really, though, we know what we want to work on, we can seek out the information we need and we don't need the magazines. The publishers and advertisers need us but we really don't need them.

So, I didn't buy any magazines this evening. Nor any of the chocolate and gum that was behind me. It's a little less exciting being this reasonable. But at least I indulged in a coffee that I didn't need. I can't be good all the time!


Monday, April 5, 2010

Like a Grey Spring Day

In spring we welcome the beautiful warm, sunny days which start to appear. Spring is here! Winter's over! Things are good! There is renewal.

And then, there is a cloudy, windy, cold day. Did we only imagine that spring was here? Was it real? Will it ever come back?

In life, or at least in my life, sometimes one goes to some dark places. For whatever reasons, to whatever places. Life gets us down. But with whatever strength we have, and work, luck and the help of others, we get back up. We clean things up. We start a blog. We laugh out loud. We shine again.

And then, a few things happen or don't happen that disappoint us. Individually, they may not be that big but they add up. We feel a little down. We feel discouraged. And we wonder, was it all for nothing? Are we still in the same place after all? Does it not matter what we do, it will all end up pretty much the same?

I choose no as the answer to those questions. Positive changes lead to more positive changes and the effects accumulate. Good things happen! Change takes place! Our little corner of the world becomes a better place!

As Joni Mitchell sings "I've looked at love from both sides now." Well, I've looked at life from both sides and I choose the side that I'm on now. There will be grey days but there will be sunshine too. I've experienced it. I believe that it will come back.


Saturday, April 3, 2010

At the End of the Day

It's 11:07 in this time zone and soon, after feeding and tucking in my rabbit (ok, maybe not quite tucking in but as close as you come to that with a rabbit), I will head to bed. I look forward to it.

At the end of the day, I consider it to be a good thing to be tired. Ideally it means that you have used up energy and are ready for sleep. There are different ways to be tired, though. I like it when I feel physically tired. I don't like it so much when I feel emotionally drained. That would be how I feel tonight.

It's not like today was a bad day. It's just that a lot of emotions were brought to the surface. And that can be tiring. Maybe taking a lot of things to Goodwill as part of the decluttering had an effect on me. Maybe noticing that the house still doesn't look as good as I want it to after that bothered me. Maybe watching the movie Juno (which my husband and I thought was excellent) stirred things up. Who knows? I just had a lot of strong emotions.

Although I'm exhausted and long for sleep, I am glad that I felt things and cried today. Emotions of all kinds are part of the human experience. Today I had some bad ones. I just hope that I will let myself feel the good ones when they come along. Sometimes I have a lot of trouble with that. That may be a whole other entry or entries.

I hope that the Easter bunny finds everybody tomorrow and that everyone enjoys a nice day!

Oh, and thank you to my friend Carrie. Sometimes someone says things to you right when you need to hear them.


Friday, April 2, 2010

An Ironic Tale about Books

The condensed version of this story would be that I bought a book that convinced me to get rid of many books. If the computer runs into problems yet again, maybe that will be all of the tale I tell. I think that things are fine with the computer now and although the Telus repairperson will be a little disappointed when he or she comes to fix it, I am pleased.

So, I was in a bookstore and I saw a book called "Clutter Busting." As often happens with me and books, I bought it. That's why I shouldn't go to book stores too often. (Maybe I just shouldn't shop now that Bath and Body Works is out of bounds too). Anyways, I brought the book home, read it, loved it and was very excited about getting rid of clutter. I don't know how much success I had right away but I must have cleared out some things. As you may know from earlier entries, this is a theme with me right now.

I decided to reread this book this week. As I got reading and thinking, I began to accept the idea that getting rid of self-help books may be good. Yesterday morning, I started gathering books. They weren't hard to find.

On the main level of my home yesterday, I found 31 self-help books. They vary in subject and some dip into spirituality but all are in some way purchased for the purpose of improving me and/or my life.

The thinking in the "Clutter Busting" book is that we are good enough without so much stuff and also without these books. The books show I have not felt that this was true. One is actually called, and this is sad, "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" I know that even in my teenage years, I had a sign up in my room to "Ameliorez-vous" or improve yourself. Wow.

I think or hope that I'm starting to feel more positive about me. A very good friend of mine asked today, after learning of the 31 books, "what on earth would you want to change?" I'm not saying that there aren't things to change but there are a lot of things about myself worth holding onto as well.

Clearly I haven't been the only poor soul out there buying self-help books or there wouldn't be sections in bookstores devoted to them. As my husband wisely said today though, I've only made the authors happy by buying the books.

I have more book shelf space now and ideally more energy in my life to devote to new things. I really like the concepts in the Clutter Busting book.

The question now is "What should I do with THAT book?"


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Computer Problems

As it is my bedtime this post will not be long. I have encountered numerous frustrating computer problems today. If they persist, my husband will get on the phone to Telus and be frustrated for an hour with them. As long as we get our means of communication back. It's tough when it's unavailable.

Other than that, I won't say much for today. If I do, it won't be brilliant. At all.

See you tomorrow hopefully.