If I'm Not Careful, I'll Get a Job

Based on my job hunting success rate so far, the chances of getting a job seem negligible. Still, if I keep sending out letters and resumes, it could happen. I don't know that I want that.

On the one hand, I do not want to be at home full time with the expectation that I clean the house and cook. This works for some people but I want to do different things as well and I thrive in participating in life outside this sphere.

The picture in my mind of a full-time job outside the home, though, is not that inviting. There would be expectations, limited time, a rigid schedule. I'd earn money, yes, but at what cost?

I like applying a lot of my energy to my son. He matters. I like applying a lot of my energy to my creativity and learning. To my friends. To living outside the grid of life. I don't fit in to a standard role and don't know that I want to. My Myers-Brigg type is INFP; this is somewhat rare. I'm different and I'm glad and I have contributions to make to the world IN MY OWN WAY.

My dream is to earn money from a variety of sources and applications of my talents. Sometimes it may add up to a little, sometimes it may add up to a lot. I don't want to trap myself in an employment world where I don't have enough freedom. I'd better be careful applying for more jobs.

JAHD

I'm A Writer

My son had a friend over yesterday. I mentioned something about getting to know other writers. The friend asked my son if his mum is a writer. My son said yeah. The other boy said "Cool."

I am a writer. Thank you to these two young boys. This conversation means so much to me.

JAHD

Egypt

I was at the gym today and I saw some scenes on CBC Newsworld. The sound was down, there were subtitles and I was very uninvolved in the details. I did learn that they were showing and talking about the protests in Egypt. It looks like a chaotic situation there.

In addition to the video coverage of the protests, I saw a pie chart outlining trade information between Canada and Egypt. At that I was somewhat aghast.

Admittedly I don't know the full nature of the discussion but it seemed like there was a very quick jump from showing a troubled place in the world to figuring out how it affects the economy here. Is that really what's important?

I have a Bachelor of Commerce. I pursued that degree because I liked and found it easy to play with numbers in high school accounting classes. I have little interest though in what numbers mean and not a whole lot of belief that they mean anything. The presentation of numbers in accounting reports require assumptions and an understanding of what principles were used to determine them. Even in the most honest of situations, they can be presented differently. Aside from their questionable accuracy, however, in looking at the trade between Egypt and Canada we are saying "Let's look to numbers to tell us how much this matters to us." People in another part of the world are in the midst of a crisis situation. I think that it's more helpful to try to understand why and to figure out if we can help.

JAHD

It's Not So Difficult After All

I think that after 10 years of being home, except for my brief preschool employment, I am learning to manage and enjoy my time at home. This likely means a job is on the horizon. Until I find a job or one finds me, though, I will keep making this at-home thing work.

My house looks better than it did. I loved seeing clear surfaces after Christmas items were removed and I still enjoy seeing them now. I am gradually improving rooms one at a time. The laundry room is one that I'm pleased about as it has never gotten much attention. Poor room.

I spend time writing and when I do it, that time is dedicated just to writing. I have a spot, I have a practice, there's a place in my life for writing. I don't have a particular time for it; I still don't have or desire that much structure.

I have slowed down my purchases of magazines, household cleaners and, for now, even books. Those were things that I bought more often than was necessary. This means that there is less clutter. It frees up my mind and space in the house. Yay for less clutter.

Having less things around the house lets me see the things that I treasure more. I also have more of a feeling of pride in the house and that leads to being more willing to open it up and enjoy sharing it.

I haven't made huge changes and nothing about my house or life is perfect. Neither ever will be. I am not telling anyone they should do this or that. Rather, I am pleased to be reporting that changes, at least small ones, are possible. I find that reassuring and hopeful. Maybe you do too.

JAHD

Letting go of the Stranglehold

Lately, and I won't say it's specifically a New Year thing but it's new, I have been thinking of things and moreso than before, doing them. I'm not procrastinating, I'm not finding reasons not to do them, I'm just doing them. And it's not that I've adopted Nike's wonderful slogan of "Just do it." I'm just doing it. It's about time.

I've held myself back. I've put obstacles in my way. I've hidden, perhaps. I'm not doing those things anymore. I'm doing it - what I'm meant to do. Sometimes that's jobs around the house, today it was starting an online book group. I don't know what it will be next. "It" will be many, many, many things.

I am free.

Have a wonderful, wonderful new year everyone.

Love JAHD