Flowers in California

Flowers in California

Monday, May 31, 2010

If anyone could tell me where my cell phone is, I'd appreciate it

My cell phone is in our house. It rang. It stopped. It has rung no more. I've tried phoning it. It has nothing to say, to me at least. I have looked. Others have looked. I think maybe I should go buy a new one just so I'll find out where the old one is. But if you could tell me its location, I'd be very grateful. Perhaps even generous. Tell me!

JAHD

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Pet Loss

My son and I lost our pet rabbit Freckles today. My husband is away so wasn't involved at all. He had gotten her extra carrot tops before he went away Thursday. That was so sweet.

Freckles' last few hours were bad for her and us. And then a decision had to be made. I made what seemed like the best choice. I've never had to do that for a pet before.

The life force will get moving again; there will be new signs and feelings of hope. Not really so far. My son and I went to my niece's birthday party after Freckles died. That was somewhat nice and included seeing my 10 month old niece walking. We hadn't seen that before. Still, it wasn't a great time.

My pet was a rabbit. To some, it may seem like just a rabbit. I totally know that it's not the end of the world. But her death made me feel awful. That's real, raw. I'm not going to tell myself I shouldn't feel a certain way nor can anyone else. I felt awful; I admit it. To not do so would be wrong and is possibly how we go wrong in our emotional and/or mental health. Feeling awful isn't fun but it's honest and it's not forever.

I don't have a bunny to bring food to tonight. Her cage is empty. She is missed.

JAHD

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I've been sitting here with my eyes closed

Yeah. I don't think I'm going to come up with much of interest to write tonight.

I worked at my last pizza lunch at my son's elementary school today. It's really quite an unpleasant job. I like the kids so much but the noise level in the lunch room is absolutely unbelievable. The kids are great though and I like interacting with them.

A highlight of going to my son's school, in addition to seeing my wonderful son, is seeing a little girl that I know from the preschool where I worked. She's in grade 2 now. She was in the 3 year old class when I first knew her and was one of the first children to really talk to me. She is still so happy to see me and the same goes for me. Today she needed 2 hugs. That's fine with me. It's amazing how one little child can make an adult feel so valued.

Oh, my eyes were closed again. I think it's time to give up, call it a day, sleep. Nighty night.

JAHD

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My Bag of Dirt

As so many things do, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Other people around the neighbourhood had ordered and received big, big bags of dirt and I ordered one. I wanted improve the flower bed situation at the front of the house. It was all my own doing and I was content that it would be my project. Then I broke my finger. Now I have an oversized bandage for a finger injury and we have an oversized bag of dirt on our front lawn.

My husband can be helpful at times but he's had a lot going on with work and our son's baseball. And this was to be my thing.

We may have this bag sitting on our lawn for a while. It's ornamental but that wasn't quite the way I intended to use it. I do try. Sigh.


JAHD

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

So tired

Urgent care centre almost wiped me out. Why I needed to go back there for my 8 day old injury to be checked, ask the medical world. Great people work there, no complaints, but the system that had me and a 16 year old wait about 2 1/2 hours each to have fractures checked isn't working well. What a waste of time. And we probably held up people who needed attention a lot more urgently. Not good. Glad my finger's making progress though.

JAHD

Monday, May 24, 2010

A Gala - Really

I have no right to complain. I have done nothing to assist in the planning of my school's 50th reunion. The fact that I live many, many, many miles away doesn't excuse me as, these days, the world can be pretty small with technology. So, I won't really complain. I'll just ponder why part of the reunion is a gala. It's at a hotel. There will be tables. And presumably fancy clothes. Wow.

What I have in mind for this event is wandering around the school looking at things (I don't know what the things are, they're just things) and very occasionally running into someone I knew and talking to them. And introducing my husband and telling my son more than he will be interested in about my days at Victoria Park. I have it planned. Oh, and the memories. Even if I don't run headlong into people attached to memories, I will run into memories. Yep. Those memories. So, the gala doesn't really fit into my plans.

There are open house activities of some kind at the school as well as the gala so my vision may perhaps come true. There's also a pub night. How 50 years worth of students can attend a pub night or a gala for that matter is beyond me. But then, I'm not involved in the planning so how would I know?

Regardless, I will push the weight loss along. That is my role in the reunion for my school. Yes, it's self-centered and shallow. But it's high school we're talking about after all.

JAHD

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Eat Well

I have been sitting here thinking of possible topics. Finally I thought, is there anything you have to say? Yes and it is: Eat Well. I didn't do that today and I haven't been at my best. Blech. We owe it to ourselves and the world to eat well. I'll try to do better tomorrow. So please, eat well.

And, don't fall. Just another tip. This injury thing sucks.

JAHD

Friday, May 21, 2010

Overcaffeinated and Tired

That's a great combination and that's me right now. It's interesting.

I am tired and I am still a bit dragged down by my broken finger. But I also have bits of ideas floating around in my head and feel like biting into life.

It's wonderful to feel inspired and there certainly are many fascinating things in life. Tonight going to bed will win out though. I'll try to take big bites out of life tomorrow morning. Right after breakfast.

JAHD

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Arm as a Tool for Conversation

To me, my broken finger and oversized bandage is an inconvenience. It doesn't hurt much and I do as much as I can despite it. No big deal, usually no major pain.

To some people in the world, my bandaged hand is a conversation starter. I find it a little instrusive that the barista (there's that word again) at Starbucks asked straight out what I did to it but it was cute when the bus driver said that I wouldn't be playing tennis this weekend. And I don't mind at all that the nosy older man up the street asked about it. He seems a bit eccentric and he feeds rabbits and I'm glad that our street has him. It's not a problem that anyone mentions it really.

What I find interesting is that people who normally might not say much of anything, suddenly open up when they see this opportunity. Could it be that people want more opportunities to talk to and get to know people better and normally they just don't see an opening? I like the thought that people want to get closer to each other.

I don't plan on more falls to provide more fodder for conversation but I am open to chatting when people want to. Again, we all need to be heard. And we all need each other.

JAHD

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Attentiveness

This evening I told my husband that we had to have a talk. He hates hearing this. He asked if he could get a beer or some chocolate first. He needs some form of solace.

I did not have a list of issues prepared this time and, to steal a line from Seinfeld (Festivus episode), there was no airing of grievances. I just wanted to tell him some things. And he sat. And he listened and he was very attentive. It was nice but a little weird.

Moments ago when I said that I was going to write in my blog, he asked if I was going to write about his attentiveness. Hmm. I wonder if it was really sincere.

All joking aside, I think attentiveness is vitally important. It is such an honour when someone listens and looks and really takes in what a person is saying. We need that. My husband is not always the best at this but the ability is there and tonight it shone through.

Maybe the fact that I didn't have a prepared list of grievances helped him relax a little too. I should probably try to keep those lists short. There are good things to say as well.

JAHD

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Blog Continued

I have found out over the last week that certain people in this house believe their critical work issues to be, well, critical and thus take precedence over my blog writing. Oh. Is that how it's going to be? I guess it is. Perhaps we could buy another computer but if we didn't have to compete for scarce resources, we might never see each other. I guess that it's better this way.

Yesterday in another nasty blow to my blogging experience, I fell (bad ankles and an extreme fear of falling make for some really dramatic tumbles) and broke a finger. No big problem but typing is a challenge.

On another issue, I'm planning to attend a big 50th reuinion at my school. (It's not 50 years since I graduated but 50 years since the school opened.) What could possily go wrong there? I want to lose 26 pounds first (and I will - heath and self-respect are only so powerful - I like spite as motivation). Still, I didn't enjoy high school that much and what turned into a bad relationship started there. Perhaps again it's a morbid curiosity for the unpleasant. It could really be unpleasant. Not that I expect someone will be there. Too far, too irrelevant for that big an ego to attend. Hard to say.

Anyways, I won't write long tonight. I'm pleased I can write at all.

My brother has suggested that I check my shoes for a clearer indication of which is left and which is right so that I stop falling. I guess I can't refuse any suggestions at this point. So, thank you to him but if he lived closer I would show him that I am still perfectly capable of throwing shoes. Left ones and right ones.

JAHD

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Breakfast really must be the most important meal of the day

I didn't have a good breakfast. I ate the small amount left in the cereal box and that was it. And, despite the fact I ate some decent things later in the day, I never got a lot of energy. Ever.

For some people, going without breakfast may be fine. I guess we're all different. I need to be a breakfast eater and I'm sorry to have lost parts of today to my lethargy.

Tomorrow, I will eat a better breakfast and try to set the world on fire. Well, not literally. That's just never a good idea.

JAHD

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Star at Starbucks

Well, I didn't mean to make the heading so corny. But, it's done now!

Today my friend and I went to the Starbucks nearest to my house. It wasn't a fancy kind of trip during which we plan to engage in deep conversation. I love those trips but today's was more needed perhaps. She was having a rough day and we could both use the break. So we went to Starbucks. All it meant was that we had to walk to a different part of the grocery store. We could make it that far.

Our drinks were good and we each got a treat and a chance to sit down. That was all nice. The best part of this little event though was the coffee server. OK, barista to be accurate in Starbucks terms. I feel that may be another term my brother won't like. Oh well. The barista is a young man that we've seen there before. He's so friendly. I don't know a lot about his life other than that he had trouble with a flight being redirected one time, as did I. And I don't know how long he's worked at Starbucks or how long he'll stay. What I do know is that while he's there, he puts a lot of his warm, enthusiastic personality into his job and makes the coffee experience nicer by doing that.

Today, this young man was very excited about the new offerings of Frappuccinos. I didn't have enough time or brilliance to figure it all out and order one but I will. He was so enthusiastic and really had a lot of information.

I think it is great to see when someone really gives of themselves to a job. This "barista" does that and he makes a difference in the world. It may seem like a small difference but it's a difference and that's what counts.

JAHD

Saturday, May 8, 2010

She's 88!

Wow. I just watched some of Saturday Night Live tonight and saw Betty White. She's incredible. She's funny. And quick. And great. Wow.

I am 44 years old and she is 88. I guess the excuse of being too old doesn't work for me.

I met Betty White once at an autograph signing. I liked her then. I think that she's amazing now.

I wish that everyone could live to be 88 and be that full of life. What a great lady.

Jay Z dedicated the song Forever Young to her. That was so touching.

What a show.

JAHD

Friday, May 7, 2010

Oh My Poor Neglected Blog

I've been remiss. I haven't written. But I'm back. My new shipment of words is here and I've organized it.

Actually, I was too lazy to write for a few days. The new shipment of words sounds better though.

I wished Happy Birthday today to a man who grew up on my street and whom I played with quite a bit. He wrote back and it was nice. He's 45. I don't know how he got so old. That must be rough. We don't have a lot of contact but we have some. It is so nice. It's good when we get and take the opportunity to reconnect. We don't always get that chance and sometimes it's suddenly too late. That happened with someone else; he's gone forever.

To catch up on what else is going on, I am having some success at not buying magazines unless there is a really good one. I know that they can't all make my life perfect. I still wish that I could twitch my nose and make my house clean up. We were all set up for major disappointment on that count by the Bewitched show.

My wonderful marketing class is over. It was great. I am in a writing course for my PR certificate that is awful. I don't like to be negative but that is the way it is for this course. What a shame.

I spent the morning today with my wonderful 2 year old neighbour. He's a fascinating and smart little bundle of energy. He chose to wear his sunglasses inside for most of the visit. Pretty cool.

Well, I will go to bed. Tomorrow I hope to have a more probing, exciting, insightful, mind-blowing blog entry or two. Really? We'll see.

Joanne

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I'm out of words

Well, I've claimed before to have run out of conversation. Now it seems that I may have run out of blog material. I'll have to wait for a new shipment. Darn.

Maybe the weather has something to do with it. Delivery problems. Whatever the issue is, my brain has nothing right now.

The weather here has been abysmal and does not lead to a good mood. I don't associate May 4 with snowstorms of any kind, heavy or not. That doesn't happen where I come from. Sorry.

Actually, since a talk this morning with a woman I'm getting to know through a volunteer project at my son's school, I've had my head in southern Ontario for a lot of the day. I have a hankering to be in the Niagara Peninsula right now actually. I think that it would be quite pretty there. I was there last spring.

Anyways, here I am, where I am, and maybe tomorrow a new shipment of words and blog material will arrive at my door. Until then, I just won't have much to say.

JAHD

Monday, May 3, 2010

Cleaning up in Facebook

I was just doing some tidying up in Facebook. I suddenly realized that I hadn't done a blog entry for today and that is why I am here now.

I was trying at first in Facebook to remove one video that I connected to somehow. I never did manage to remove it but found way more applications that I had authorized than I realized I had. And there were some to which I had give extra permissions. I have since removed a lot of extra permissions and probably over a hundred authorizations. Does it help? I don't know but it feels better to try to regain at least a little privacy.

Facebook still has its advantages and I'm glad that I joined it but I think it's good to step back once in a while and check that we're not allowing too much of our information to go to too many places without us even realizing it.

JAHD

Saturday, May 1, 2010

What We Look Like

I have been in 2 cities where the Body Worlds exhibit has been on but I have not been to see it. I do not know whether I will go. I expect that I will. It might disturb me but as my very wise brother has said before about me "You have a morbid curiosity for the unpleasant."

Having seen advertising for the exhibit, I feel that I already know to some extent what it would be like. Interesting? Maybe. Upsetting? Quite possibly. I think too that it has the capacity to change the way that we think about each other.

From what I've seen of the bodies included in the show, and these really are human bodies with their skin removed, everyone kind of looks the same. I know that there are different sizes and poses, and bodies would be in different conditions of health and disease. But let's face it, none of them look a lot prettier or uglier or blacker or whiter. None of them has better hair. Whether they have acne or wrinkles or both is not apparent. Of course, for these departed people, none of this matters anymore. But did it ever?

To me, showing humans in these ways shows that superficial differences in appearance shouldn't matter. Clearly, underneath those differences, our bodies are pretty much the same. How does that translate to what happens in real life?

Well, we know what happens. Money and time are poured into looking good and trying to look young despite the realities of time and mortality. Physically attractive people seem to be treated better and get further ahead in some fields. I admit that I have a celebrity crush on an actor that I consider extremely attractive. Yes, I'm part of the problem. Society often treats looks like they matter.

Underneath everyone's surface, though, is a body like the ones we see at Body Worlds. I think that there's a lesson to be learned here.

JAHD

Book Club Ran Late

Well, Book Club doesn't really have an ending time so it's o.k. that it ran as long as it ran. We ate a very lovely meal and we had good talk about many things including the book. I must go to bed now though. I will try to write a longer entry tomorrow.

JAHD