Thoughts on a Plane

I returned from my fun trip to Toronto yesterday.  After much rummaging, I found a pen and jotted down some thoughts during the flight.  Here they are:

I have slept on planes before; I know it's possible.  This time, we are sitting in the back row of the plane.  While I try to never use a washroom on a plane, most people on the flight do not share such an ambition.  It is very loud here as each person opens the washroom door.  None of these people know how much I hate them for these bathroom trips.  Perhaps I will start growling.

I wonder if I can complete one flight, and ideally the return trip as well, in which I seem like a sleek, put-together air traveler.  Today as I held onto 2 coats, repeatedly kicked my carry-on bag along in the line at Starbucks and tried to have my money ready to pay for my drink, it was apparent that I had not reached that status.  Maybe one day I will accomplish that feat and other travelers will, while admiring my stunning outfit and smooth grace, quietly scorn me.  I really hope so!

On some flights my thoughts, as I sit above the clouds, are of an inspiring, high-level, perhaps life-changing nature.  Then there are flights like today's in which my thoughts are along the lines of:

- Who eats something that smells like that at this time of day?
- Oh good!  The drink cart is coming but what about my vow of abstinence on bathroom trips?  Those ideas conflict.
- Why did I get a coffee right before boarding - for so many reasons that's wrong and now I have to balance this cup as I read, get things out of my bag, pick up things I drop and dislike people who interrupt my sleep.

Why is there always at least one businessperson at the front of the plane who gives me a condescending look as they apparently question how I could be on the same plane as them?  I know I'm not one of them; that's not the role I'm playing today.  But regardless of their feelings on the matter, we are on the same flight and mine is not paid for by an employer.  Maybe I'm wrong but I suspect theirs may be.  So was that look really warranted on your part?

Why do we have the busiest, chattiest flight crew ever?  They're friendly too which makes it harder to dislike them.  Still, they gather close to our back row location and when I was still hoping for sleep, they disturbed me.  But they are a wonderful crew.

I've spent some time trying to decide if the top of a man's head is off-center or if it only looks that way because of how he is sitting.  I may never know.  He's bald, with a lovely fringe of bright white hair.  The top of his head is nice-looking but I do question its symmetry.  If he would sit up straight, we could get this matter worked out without any embarrassment.  We'll see what happens.

Saskatchewan - there you are.  We know each other so little and I think it will stay that way.  There are no bad feelings - there are no feelings at all.  You look like such a sunny province.  I'm much more comfortable with busy big city streets and shopping malls.  But I wish you well.

How freaked out are people when they see someone writing pages and pages of notes in public?  Yes people know that there are those who write, but do they consider me in something like the "crazy cat lady" category when they see the process in action?  They seem to notice as they stand in the washroom line.  Perhaps they wonder if I'm writing about them.  They are right to wonder.

I am tired of having to repeat things I say because others in my party are wearing headphones/earbuds/things-they-put-on-their-heads that block out my voice.  (Admittedly I have spoken mostly to complain or when I needed help finding something I'd dropped so they haven't missed a lot.)  Perhaps later on at home I should pretend, for four hours, that I do not hear what people say and then remove an imaginary device from my ear.  I wouldn't explain why I was doing it.  It would teach them or make them really, really confused.

I have not let my son's school that he will not be there.  I wonder what they do to parents like that.  I'll know soon.

I am revisitng the question of the symmetry of the man's head.

As I look at the maps showing the flight path and progress, I come up with places to which I never wish to travel.  My mood has deteriorated (it didn't start off great anyways) and I have become geographically hostile.  I have decided that I never want to go anywhere north.  I am sure the north would be somewhat relieved if it knew.

Landing is starting now so only about 90,000 more hurdles to clear before we're home and I'm in trouble with the school.  Landing makes me a bit nervous but it is beautifully done.

Despite all the little annoyances that accompany it, air travel is amazing.   I am grateful for the ability to travel great distances quickly and safely.  It doesn't matter how we're dressed, what we do to get through the flight, whether that man's head is symmetrical or not (he seemed comfortable with it regardless) or whether we are able to sleep on board.  Air travel enables us to get there, wherever our "there" may be.  I hear a plane.  Happy flying to all!

JAHD