Making People Happy - Maybe That's Enough

Last evening, my son started asking questions about the role of the British monarchy.  I guess he hadn't given it too much thought until Prince William and his new bride, Kate, came to Canada.  He wanted to know if the King and/or Queen make decisions.  He wanted to know what they do.  It was hard to explain.  I don't know a lot about what they do. The Queen has always been there, doing her job well it seems, and to a child of the world today, the roles may seem strange.  We didn't even start to discuss the financial issues of it all.  That might have really perplexed him.

I have questioned the role of the monarchy.  Logically speaking, there doesn't seem to be a lot of need for it.  But I don't think that logic has to rule the world.

Throughout their visit to Canada William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have made people happy.  How many people travel around the world and do that?  Perhaps this alone is a good reason to continue the role of the British monarchy.  I wish this young couple the very best.

JAHD

Book Titles Under Consideration (Or Not)

I haven't committed myself to any of these titles yet.  See what you think.

1.  Fuzzy Foods and Odd Stains:  Tales from the Back of the Fridge

2.  The Effective Bribery of Children:  Getting Past the Shame and Using the Power

3.  Your Rabbit's Birthday:  Making It Special

4.  Bad Smells and their Origins:  When Air Freshener Fails

5.  Between the Sneezes:  Enjoying the Ritual of the Morning Sneezing Fit

6.  Listening When Your Pet Shares Its Hopes and Dreams

7.  Avoiding Humilation at the Gym:  Tips for those Who Just Move Differently

8.  Discomfort at the Hair Salon:  The Case for Robot Stylists

9.  The Goldfish:  Exploring The Vast Potential of an Underappreciated Pet

10. Why is the "Laughing Cow" Laughing?  The Dark Side of a Happy Bovine *

11. When the Hour Is Up:  How Your Psychologist Really Feels About You

12. Holding Onto the Pounds You Know:  Proven Strategies for Maintaining Girth

13. When Feet Go Wrong:  A (Clumsy) History of Spectacular Falls

14. Using Invasive Plants to Quietly Avenge Your Neighbours

15. Understanding and Encouraging Your Eccentric Small Pet

16. Fruits:  The Sneaky Cousins of the Vegetables We Trust

17. Loving Our Toes When They're Non-Traditional In Appearance

18. Toxins We Love:  The Enduring Joy and Promise of Household Cleansers

Feedback is welcomed. :)

* I have nothing against Laughing Cow Cheese.  It's probably yummy.  But I saw that face staring at me at the grocery store.  Simply put, she started it.

JAHD

Excuses - but why?

I enjoy going to the gym.  I love writing.  For the past few days, I have found reasons to avoid both of those things.  I have managed to watch tv, shop, talk on the phone.  It's not that there hasn't been time.  It's just that I haven't used it for those activities.

I know I'm not the only person who doesn't do what they know to be best for them.  Are we rebellious?  Are we self-destructive, lazy?  I don't know.  I just want to understand why we don't always move in a forward direction as we go through life.  Maybe that's just the way we are but I have a question: 

How different would our lives and the world look if we did make the best choices all of the time?

Wow.  We would do more, create more, feel better.  And, we would spend less time fighting with ourselves and regretting what we haven't done.  Then, we would have more time to do even more good things.  Things would just get better.  And better.

I am going to try stop wasting time coming up with reasons, excuses, explanations for why I don't do things that are simply right for me to do.  It's not that complicated.  It's time to get on with it and make the most of every day.  Even though I have exercised a lot of creativity in coming up with excuses.  And you know - exercises, creativity - that sounds almost as good as writing or working out.  So I can give myself credit for that, I suppose, and, oh dear, it's starting again.  Better get moving.

JAHD

It's So Easy to Miss So Much

Admittedly, I'm sitting in my basement right now.  But earlier this evening, I left the basement and sat in our living room.  I'm glad that I did.

As I sat in the living room, with my legs curled up, on the really comfortable couch, I felt a nice breeze from the open window.  I heard a bird (and this one was singing not squawking, unlike most of the birds I've heard lately) and I enjoyed the occasional glance at the sky to the west.  It was a lovely time of day.  It's a lovely time of year.  It was a lovely time of life.

I didn't have to come upstairs and sit in the living room.  I was enjoying watching tv downstairs.  OK, I was watching So You Think You Can Dance.  I love the expressiveness of the dancing and the love of dance that the contestants display.  But I didn't want to spend all evening watching tv and I left.

It is so easy to miss out on a nice evening like this one.  And to miss out on so many other things as well.  I don't know that we choose to stick with the familiar, to hide in the basement, to stop trying new things.  Rather, we get comfortable and forget that there are other joys waiting to be experienced.  They may not be big and spectacular - they can be as simple as sitting in a living room on a beautiful evening.  But when we have so many things around us to experience and enjoy, it's nice when we realize that, do something different, and savour more of life's rich offerings.

JAHD

A Waste of Time or The Rhythm of Life

I was cleaning up the kitchen tonight.  Around dinnertime, it had turned into a disaster zone.  Once I emptied the dishwasher and refilled it, I sorted out the sink.  I've done these things more than a few times before.

As I worked on the sink, I thought to myself that this kind of thing is a waste of time.  How many more creative things could I be doing if I didn't have to get rid of yucky food debris after dinner?  Or change the sheets.  Or clean the bathroom.  And this doesn't even take on the question of why I am the one who does these things.  For now, it is fair in this household that I do them, I guess.  It's just - these things are boring.  Are they a waste of our time?

I can't answer that question definitively.  If all the household tasks were handled somehow, we would have more time to do other things.  In corporate offices downtown, people have jobs to perform - the cleaning of their workspaces is taken care of by others.  I can see some advantages to being free of all such responsibilities.

I can also see that the simple duties we undertake in our homes lend rhythm to our lives.   We can do many other things in a day but we return to these activities and they provide us some constancy, some grounding, some order.  And that's good.

When we neglect these activities, we mess up not only our homes but also our lives.  I don't want to do that.  Sure, I'm not thrilled about fishing debris out of the kitchen sink but, after I've done that, I want to notice and appreciate that we have a sink, a kitchen, running water and a home.  I want to keep on experiencing and enjoying the rhythm of life.

JAHD

The Trust of a Rabbit

That's a nice title for an entry but I am not sure that my rabbit trusts me.  I'm not even sure he likes me.  He seems to be more interactive with my husband (who claims not to like him) and my son.  Maybe the fact that I'm the one who scoops him and puts him in his cage makes him keep his distance.  Or perhaps he just doesn't care for me.  It happens.

Regardless of my rabbit's feelings towards me, I hold the little guy's life in my hands.  I was carrying him around the other night and we were both working to ensure that I was holding him securely.  Looking at him, I was struck by how vulnerable he is.  I am careful with him.  But he has no control over that.  He is so dependent on me.

Every pet depends on its owner or owners.  People acquire pets for various reasons.  Sometimes, they are the wrong reasons.  Sometimes, they are the wrong people.  Sometimes, reasons and lives change and things aren't so good for a pet anymore.  I admit that when my son was younger, I didn't give my rabbits the attention they deserved.  I will always regret that.  Animals still need us no matter what is going on in our lives.  We owe them good treatment and proper care.

I will go downstairs tonight and give my rabbit some of the care he deserves.  It is wonderful that so many pets get good treatment.  I hope that by teaching children about animal care at a young age, through humane education programs, and by encouraging adults to take pet ownership seriously, we move towards all pets being valued and treated very well.  I hope we can show that we are worthy of their trust.

Even if I do scoop my rabbit up and put him in his cage at night.

JAHD

Oh Right, the Plants - I should probably water them or something

I don't have strong feelings regarding houseplants.  Does anyone?  I used to water a sunroom full of plants when a neighbour was away.  She must have really liked them.

I have six houseplants.  Maybe.  That's all I know about anyways.  I don't know why I bought some of them.  They're green, they're leafy and that's about it.  I understand why I bought ones that were in bloom; I like colour.   And sometimes those plants bloom again later.  That can be really nice.  With the others though, I don't feel a lot of love.  Occasionally, I notice them and think they might need water or something.  It's not unlike mealtime at our house.  And pouring a little bit of water on them (admittedly mealtimes are a little more complicated) keeps them going until the next time.  And on it goes.

I don't have the heart to stop watering these plants or just dump them out, much as I may want to do those things.  So the plants keep on, well, being plants, no matter how I feel about them.

Perhaps my disinterest is a little stronger at this time of year.  I have a lot of outdoor plants and I look forward to the colourful displays they will provide.  Maybe I'm just tired of things that clutter up the house.  We have papers, books and coats for that - we don't need plants to help out.  Or maybe I'm just not a houseplant person.  I can live with that.

The plants will continue to be here as long as nothing untoward happens to them.  There could be an overzealous spraying of a household cleaner, a window adjacent to the plants being left open on an unusually cold night, an infestation of some kind of bug (I generally prefer to avoid household infestations but can make an exception) or, oops, I could leave them by the sunny kitchen window and forget to have someone water them when we go away.  Things happen.

Regardless of whether these plants remain here long or not, I don't think I should buy more of them.   There's nothing wrong with these or any houseplants.  They should just be in a place where they're appreciated.  And that doesn't seem to be this house.

JAHD

On Technology and On Resisiting It

I took a very good writing class today.  The instructor was enthusiastic and interesting and there were four students in the class.  It was a dream.  I could have stayed there forever.

Since class, I have reflected on the words of one of the other students and felt a little bit sad.  She seemed like a nice lady, she is talented with words, and she has an interest in writing.  This lady has negative feelings towards technology, however and she seemed a little bit down about it.  She is entitled to her feelings about these things, of course, but I think she is limiting herself.

I know that technology has changed and will continue to change the way that people record and share their thoughts and ideas.  But things have always changed.  At one time, books were new.  At another time, letters were born.  Movies came along and television followed.  People have used telegrams, phone calls, faxes, emails, cell phone transmissions, text messaging, and social media.  New mechanisms come along but people still communicate.

For me, new technology and the use of social media have enriched my life.  I like being able to look things up on Google to quickly answer questions.  Facebook has enabled me to reconnect with important people who had disappeared from my life, as they sometimes do, and to have fun with people who are in my life now.  Occasionally, I send text messages that involve sorting out the details of getting together with people.  Being on Twitter has helped me learn about areas in which I am interested and to learn of other people with similar interests.  (Yes, there are other rabbit fans out there.)  And my favourite type of communication is still face-to-face, ideally over coffee.

I wish that today my class could have helped this woman learn to like technology a little bit more.  Of course, we can't and shouldn't force our opinions on her.  But maybe if we could show her that  technology has some positive uses, we could have helped her open up to the possibilities.

JAHD

Meditating Without Words

This morning, I meditated.  When I do so, I try to clear my mind of words and listen to the sounds around me.  It can be a challenge (I started composing this entry as I tried to meditate) but it's an interesting exercise.  And I have moments where I feel like I am simply experiencing, without judgment.

In getting my mind closer for a little while to a wordless state, I think I may become more child-like.  I don't apply labels to every sound.  Usually we have labels for everything.  I can't look at a flower and simply enjoy it.  It's a blue rock phlox that is ideally planted in a rock garden.  We know so much information.  We have so many details attached to everything.  It is nice to clear that out sometimes.

As vitally important as words our to our communication and lives, I find it interesting to consider what it would be like to live without them for a while.  Where would our impressions, our pure thoughts lead us when we go with our wordless experiences?  It is not just a matter of silence between people, it is an absence of words in our minds.

Our minds are amazing.  They're also very full.  I think a little bit of decluttering now and then of the mind can help us find our way and help us find its beauty.

JAHD

Carrying Cupcakes

I was out today and encountered a popular cupcake store.  I decided to indulge and bought two cupcakes to take home.

I had to take the bus home and wondered if the plastic box I received to transport them was adequate.  Perhaps a bag would have been helpful but then it's so much better to keep cupcakes in an upright position and bags don't always ensure success with that.

Setting off down the street, I clutched my plastic box.  I suppose the key to the whole thing with cupcakes is that they are often packaged in clear boxes and clear bags.  Cupcake vendors are smart.  They want other people to see the cupcakes.  They want to plant the seed in their minds.  Because I wanted my (overpriced) cupcakes to make it home safely, I wanted to handle them carefully myself.  But I was also feeling protective of them when other people got nearby.  I did not want anyone to take my cupcakes.  I would defend them.

Because carrying cupcakes in open plastic is such a public thing, I have encountered comments before.  I didn't get any comments today.  I was kind of alone in my thoughts anyways and tried to give off a bit of a please-don't-approach air.  But what if someone knocked them out of my hands to be cruel?  What if I tripped and they went flying?  Everyone would know that I had wanted cupcakes and I wasn't going to get them.  Cupcakes make us vulnerable.  It would be so humiliating if they ended up as piles of crumbs on the street.

I got the cupcakes home safely.  Mine wasn't actually that tasty after all that and I don't think I'll buy any for a while.  But they made for an interesting trip home on the bus and  I can't believe how protective I felt towards two simple cupcakes.  I don't remember being that protective getting my son home on buses when he was a baby.  Oh dear, did I just say that?

JAHD