Flowers in California

Flowers in California

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I Wish I Had Known

I wish I had known that I mattered,
I wish I had known that I was worthy and wonderful too
It wasn't just that I got to date someone
He got to date me
A guy can't save a girl
Can't make her happy, make her fulfilled
Can't make it right
I wish I had known these things
I thought that, if only I was in love,
Everything would be ok
Someone would take care of me
I wouldn't have to bear the burden of creating my own happiness
I wouldn't have to bear the burden of figuring out my life
I found out, as we often do, the hard way
That what I believed was wrong
I am still learning that I make myself happy
Or not
That no one can save me, be my prince
I am as royal, as strong
I don't hate anyone I once loved
It wasn't his fault
He couldn't carry my load, I shouldn't have expected that
I understand now
But I wish I had known


  1. I really like this post....but I also think if you had known...where is the lessons? Sometimes we just need to live, to grieve, to laugh, to cry, to fall, to order to live. I have no regrets, because with each mistake and fall from grace....I learned. I think the journey to here, has been the reward.

  2. Oh Kim, you said that so well. And yes, everything that happens to us makes us who we are. But I do wish that I had valued myself more. Realized I had value. Oh well. Joanne