I'm Not Telling Anyone What to Do

I do not have a proud athletic past.  As longtime readers of my blog already know, gym classes were nightmarish for me.  I didn't progress far in swimming lessons and, while it's never been definitively proven, it seems that my body is not designed to dive into a pool.  I live with these realties.

Despite all of this, I started working out at a gym.  I have not used a trainer and I do not take classes.  For everyone's sake, it's better this way.  I go to the gym a lot now and, as I learn about and experience the benefits of physical activity, I do not want to stop.  It is very important for me to go to the gym.

At this point, it may appear I'm extolling the benefits of physical fitness and how everyone should work out.  I'm not.

I won't tell someone else that they should work out or, really, do anything in particular.  They are welcome to ask about something I do, and I love sharing my experiences, but I believe that people find their way, in their own time and do what they need to do.  I question how much positive difference it makes to be be told by others - friends, family members, medical authorities, the media - what and what not to do.

People and their lives, their histories, are complex.  If they are happy, if they are comfortable, if they are holding things together, they deserve praise.  And then there are people's rebellious streaks (I have one of those), fears, beliefs and self-destructive tendencies.  Simple words, information and believing we know best for others won't cut through.  And that's o.k.  We all have to find our own way.  We all have our own paths to follow.

As I go about my little routine of going to the gym, I will not tell anyone else that they should go too.  And I appreciate that no one is telling me a whole bunch of other ways in which I can improve my life.  I know I might benefit from drinking less coffee.  I'm just not there yet.  And remember, I'm rebellious.

So, enjoy!  Whatever it is you enjoy.  But only if you want to and always at your own pace!

JAHD

This Year, A Beautiful Garden Will Bloom

In writing this entry, I commit to creating a beautiful garden at my home this year.

I have had mixed success before.  This year, I will do my best and succeed in creating a wonderful display at the front and back of my house.

It is empowering to realize that we can create beauty.  In so many areas of our lives, we can do this.  We can create it in kind words to others, or with simple help with an errand that means a lot to someone, or by cleaning up a room and in so doing, uncovering its essence.  We have so much capability to create kindness, calm, beauty.  We can make a difference in so many, big and small, ways.

I am up early on a Sunday morning in a house filled with sunshine.  No one else is up so I don't want to do much and create noise.  Still, I have been able to do a little bit by writing this entry.

And I have committed to creating a beautiful garden this year.  Now it's in writing.  Soon it will be in soil.  I look forward to it.  It's awesome that we can help to create beauty.

JAHD

Thinking of People Who've Lost So Much

I look at my kitchen and it is messy.
I look at my kitchen and it is here.

For too many people, looking at their kitchens is impossible.  In Slave Lake, Alberta, fire destroyed way too much of the town.  And people in Slave Lake are so much better off than people in Missouri and Oklahoma.  Tragically one helicopter pilot died fighting fire in Slave Lake.  In the tornadoes that hit Missouri and Oklahoma, many people lost their lives.  Or were injured.  Or lost family members.  I can see the devastation on tv but what it would be like to be affected by it is unfathomable.  But it's real.

I hope and trust that healing will take place, that people will help each other.  I know that people can make a difference in a tragedy.  But nothing will undo what has happened in these communitites.  Terrible things happened.  That can't be changed.

A tornado or some other random event can happen at any time.  No one is immune.  This afternoon I will appreciate that things are calm and quiet here and that I have a kitchen to clean.  And  I will pray for the people who have lost kitchens and so much more.

JAHD

What is a frappuccino?

I was at Starbucks and picked up an information sheet about frappuccino options.  When a drink has an information sheet, I think that's a troubling sign.  And there are many, many options.  I did not know.  I looked them over and some sounded tasty.  What I don't understand is that if there are multitudes of different frappuccino configurations, what is the essence of a frappuccino?  I'm missing something.  Perhaps this is something I should know.  Perhaps I will sound old or uninformed.  I don't know that I really care.  I just don't understand frappuccinos.  I admit it.  I also admit that I enjoy paying only $1.94 for my tall bold coffee when I go to Starbucks (admittedly maybe a little too often) and not having to know any specialized information.  But that's just me.  To all you frappuccino lovers, enjoy.  You have knowledge way beyond my understanding.

JAHD

It was worth it

At the start of this evening, I had a choice.  I could stay home by myself and do whatever I wanted (and there are always things I want to do) or go to my son's baseball game.  I decided to leave it up to him.  He wanted me to attend.  I did.  It was very windy.  It was unpleasantly cold.  I hadn't factored in the strength of the wind or the particular nastiness of the cold when I put a tasteful sweater over my top.  Apparently a windbreaker would have been a good idea.  Hence the name.  Anyways, I was cold and I've had more fun experiences in my life than sitting there in those conditions.  But late in the game, my son got a hit and he got to first base safely.  He looked over to me once he'd made it there.  It made it all worthwhile.  I am so glad I went to the game this evening.

JAHD

What we fear, what happens

My heart goes out to the people in Slave Lake, Alberta.  Many of them have lost their homes and their town has been severely affected by fire.  It is awful.  Thankfully no one has been killed or seriously injured though.

I don't know what warning the people in Slave Lake had about the fires.  Perhaps they have feared this for a while.  To an outside observer like myself, though, it seems like fear of an imminent disaster was stronger in Manitoba.  Whether from natural flooding or a man-made flood, designed for the greater good, we have seen and heard a lot about the situation there.  And, as in our own lives, we can fear one thing and suddenly, we are blindsided by something completely different.  Life and the world can be unpredictable.

I don't mean to minimize anyone's suffering in either of these situations.  What I am struck by right now is that we shouldn't spend too much time on fear.  We never know what will happen and no matter how much we plan for every apparent eventuality, we cannot have complete control.  Maybe that frees us up a bit to just live.

JAHD

Oh there's a baseball coming at my head, I'd better gracefully move out of the way

That's a long title and that's a lot of thinking to do when an errant baseball is heading for you.  I don't know if I've ever gotten a baseball in the head (I'd probably remember or, well, maybe not) but it's something I fear at baseball games.  Tonight at my son's game, a ball headed to the side of the field where I was sitting and I was ready to take evasive action.  And then I felt silly.  And I wondered about whether trying not to look silly would enter into my thought process if a baseball really was heading for me.  I hope not.  I know that I might look odd if I jump at every little threat but I think that avoiding getting hit on the head with a very hard and fast ball is a worthwhile pursuit.  So I will keep actively watching the games I attend and try to move out of the way if a ball is heading for me.  Or maybe I should just wear a helmet.  I'm not always in a mood to chat and that would probably take care of that issue too.

JAHD

Others Hurt Too

I believe that every painful experience we go through in life enlarges our capacity to understand other people's pain.  There is a silver lining in the dark cloud.  What I have realized lately, however, is that even though I know what other people go through because I've had similar pain myself, I can still be wrapped up in my experience and forget that it is as real and as bad for others.  I regret that.  I'm not helping others as much as I could be by showing compassion and I'm clinging to my pain and still trying to get people to share it with me.

Maybe I can go a little easier on myself and say it's unfortunate that I've had some painful experiences and that if I can help anyone at all with my understanding, it's a bonus.  I'm not obligated to help.  It's a shame that I've suffered.  But I want to help.  I want to let people know that they're not alone.  I want to validate people's experiences and say some things have happened to me too and I know that they hurt.  And I know too that life goes on and can still be beautiful.

Life is beautiful.  Especially when we remember to care about others.  I must never forget that.

JAHD
(This entry is dedicated to some angels - invisible but loved)

Dinner!

I made a very tasty macaroni and cheese dinner this evening.  And it wasn't from a box, this time.  Rather it was prepared from scratch and decided upon right before I started making it.  This is really new to me and it's been happening more and more often.  I credit my Rose Reisman Family Favourites cookbook.  It has given me the power to cook good meals for my family.  It is so nice getting rave reviews for meals.  The three of us enjoy eating dinner.  The jokes about "Can or box" are not as frequent.  I am grateful to Rose Reisman and I am grateful that I was ready in my life to find this cookbook and use it.  Food matters and we matter and now my cooking reflects these realities.  I wonder what I will cook tomorrow!

JAHD

Event Planning

I survived my son's baseball opening day celebrations.  If I had just attended, survival would have been pretty easy.  Being a key part of the organizational committee and seeing that things arrived and got set up as they should, survival was more of a challenge, a goal.

I haven't planned a lot of events before and I don't think it is my calling.  That's ok but there will probably be other occasions in life when I will need to plan events for some reason.  I have learned one lesson that will be helpful to anyone in such a situation:

     "Don't just hope for the best."

Yes.  I am rather optimistic about some things.  When planning an event, however, that's not enough.  I may not be a details person but I'd better learn to play the role of one.  Or suddenly I will have a situation again like I had yesterday morning .  I realized that the deal was never finalized with the tent and table rental people and I wasn't getting tents and tables.  And the event was starting at noon.  Luckily, another company came through (before 8:30 on a Sunday, no less, they answered their phone) but I grew up in those agonizing moments of fear and realized that I have to do better with things like this.

Hoping for the best in life is great.  Hoping for the best in event planning is a recipe for failure, tears and public humilation.  I think I'll pay attention to the details next time.  I am so grateful that we were able to save the day this time.  Whew!

JAHD