Good Input, Bad Output

Today, I finish off not feeling particularly happy. Nothing horrible happened to me or my family, and that is good. I hope that other people are also doing well. But it was a day where I seemed to do the right things but some wrong things happened. Some things that hurt a little bit, each individually, and added up, kinda hurt enough to say that this wasn't a great day.

I caught up on some nagging things around the house, I went for a walk in beautiful weather, it seemed like it should be a good day. But small things happened and that's just the way it is.

I still feel like I have accomplished little in life some times and that, somehow, I still am the odd woman out. I still wish I could get past my neuroses or whatever and do things in life, in the house, in this world.

I guess it's 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I'll take at least 1 more step forward tomorrow. And get where I need to go.

JAHD

My Shower Curtain is Wearing Out!

I don't like to waste things. Sadly, I do throw food out sometimes. That's a shame. With other things though, if something still works, and is used, I keep it. It would be hard to get rid of a shower curtain in perfect condition. Even if it is about 17 years old.

I bought this shower curtain at K-Mart in Bayview Village Mall. Some people will know where that mall is. Yes, there was a K-Mart there. And it had good shower curtains.

While I like to update things, I don't like to throw things out for no good reason. And I don't know that a charity would want an old shower curtain.

I will wash this shower curtain and have another look at it. If it is indeed worn out, I will get rid of it in good conscience. Otherwise, it will go back up and continue doing its job. Landfills have enough items in them without any needless contributions from me.

JAHD

Look at What's New!

Well, nothing yet. But I hope that there will be new things.

The world didn't get to where it is, and I like to believe it's at a pretty amazing place, without new ideas. I'd love to come up with some. How does one really do that? What new things are of value?

I'm not necessarily talking about physical things. No new kitchen gadgets or types of tv. Please no more types of tv. My husband talks about too many of them now. What about new ideas, new groups where people talk about or try to address concerns people have never formed groups for previously, what about new ways to share spirituality or look for God. What about new ways to help.

I wonder what wonderful new concepts we will all develop. How exciting!

JAHD

The World Needs Bunny Huggers - Really

At a class the other night, I met a woman who works at the local Humane Society. Soon we were discussing my pet rabbits. She was grateful that I had adopted some of them from the Society.

Not long into our conversation, she asked if I would like to volunteer as a Bunny Hugger. I knew about this role. People come in and literally hug the bunnies that are living at the shelter. Once she said it, I started thinking that maybe I would like to do that. I did say, though, that I should hug my own rabbit more. And that is true.

I do not devote as much time to my pet as I could and probably should. I love her, I try to keep her favourite food in the house (carrot tops), I try to keep her house clean and I try to let her out to play. I'm better at some of those things than others. My intentions are good.

The thing for me to keep in mind is that helping one pet rabbit or any other animal is a good thing to do. It doesn't mean that I have to help or save every other animal too. If only we could. But we can't. I could go and hug every bunny; I could bring some more home. I could (easily) become the Crazy Rabbit Lady. If already I don't always do enough for Freckles, things could really deteriorate if I had more. So, if I know my limitations and do what I can, there's no need to feel that I should do more. To my rabbit Freckles, I mean a lot and helping her makes the world a teeny bit better.

I remember the Starfish story, used in a United Way campaign one year, I believe. Here is a link to that story:

www.starrbrite.com/starfish.html

It's nice to make a difference to one. I will go and get Freckles out.

JAHD

Bonus - 2 Blog Entries Tomorrow

Stay tuned! Tomorrow - 2 entries!! None tonight except for this brief (and oh so exciting) announcement about the 2 entries tomorrow. I have no idea what they'll be. And this assumes I'll feel way more energetic and inspired than I do now. We can only hope.

Take care everyone.

JAHD

The Wonderful Course I'm Taking

This entry will be brief. I'm very tired. I had to open my eyes to start this post.

Part of the reason that I am tired is that I went to my Marketing course this evening. It's part of the PR certificate that I'm doing. I didn't expect to like the course too much and find some marketing kind of shady but this course is great. I don't think I've ever taken a more enjoyable class.

The instructor is truly a star and tries to give us as much information as she possibly can. She does that in class and on the Blackboard system that we sign on to outside of class. The Blackboard system is amazing too. We do not have to take notes in class (although that's a hard habit to break) as the material from class is posted there along with our assignments, announcements and grades. It's a great use of technology.

Other uses for technology make appearances in this course too. Social media is a large part of marketing now. It is incredible learning about all the tools available.

For me, this course is just so interesting. The time flies by and I look forward to getting into the course material in my free time. Taking all of these courses is a great way to build confidence, learn and feel like a part of the world again. I love this!

And now to sleep...

JAHD

Help when we can

Right now I feel that the material in some of my blog entries has been a bit trivial. This is especially when one considers what other people are going through. It's really not the end of the world to live on a quiet street, have too many books and have a tendency to overshop. I've had serious issues in my life too but none of the things listed above is very troubling.

Without naming any names at all or pointing in any directions at all, I will say that I am concerned about a friend of mine. She doesn't deserve her present situation. It's just not right at all.

In life, bad things happen. Everyone knows it. When they happen to us, it can be hard to reach out for help. But reaching out does help and people will help. When bad things happen to other people, it can be hard too. We don't want to invade privacy, we don't know if we're close enough to help, we may fear doing something wrong. It's worth trying though. It really is. Happiness doesn't always come from good things happening. Sometimes happiness comes from the help that people give us in really bad times. I'm so grateful that we all have the ability to help each other when we need it.

JAHD

Weekday at home in the Suburbs

It's not a dark and stormy evening but it's a grey and drizzly afternoon here. That seems about as bad.

I don't know that I've written any blogs entries in the afternoon. Today, this is the perfect time to do it as what I'm writing about, I'm experiencing right now. Let me explain.

I have been home from work downtown since I left one Friday afternoon and didn't know that I'd have my baby 2 months early the next Friday afternoon. That was 9 1/2 years ago tomorrow. Wow. Since then I've worked for over a year in a preschool. I loved the kids but wasn't challenged. I thought I'd leave and easily find a new job. Quickly the job market changed and jobs disappeared. Here I am. I'm waiting for a turnaround and taking courses. And writing in a blog.

You see, despite the fact that I think it was wonderful to be with my son during his early years and I wouldn't trade it at all, I don't enjoy being at home during the day here. I hate it. It hates me. I developed anxiety beyond any I'd had before (although that's a lot better now). I don't excel domestically, I'm not intellectually challenged and except for getting together with friends and spending time on the computer, I don't know how much I enjoy at all.

Some people love this role. And that is great. People have many different talents and interests and some do very well at home. I don't.

I went to the mall and grocery store today and as I came to my street, I noticed the almost complete lack of movement on it, again. It's just so still and numbing.

I have had occasion recently to be in a trendy part of the city that is closer to downtown. There are people walking, interesting stores, restaurants, old buildings, traffic, life. I love it down there. It seems to love me back and make me feel alive.

I have to get out there, somehow. I am going to get out there. I will have to work around my son's schedule as he is my number one priority. But I'm a priority too and I need to thrive again.

JAHD

Oranges and Apples and More

Today I was sitting in my living room eating a small orange. It could have been a clementine or a tangerine. I just know that it was small and it was orange and it tasted pretty good.

As I ate the orange, I wondered about what health benefits an orange brings. So many foods are touted for this or that benefit. It led me to thinking about apples and the adage about eating an apple a day keeping the doctor away. I wondered if when that was first said, people had ready access to apples like we do now. Maybe not.

I can't pretend that I appreciate how lucky we are to have so many fruits and vegetables available. I don't know any other way. My family and I don't always eat enough of them but they're available. When we do eat them, we enjoy them. Mostly. There are some vegetable complaints.

In this world, we hear that too many people don't have access to anywhere near enough food. And we do. It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't seem right. For me, thinking a little about the food I eat helps me understand how precious it is and the incredible importance of it to our lives. I'm not saying that this helps anyone else but maybe it's a start.

And clearly, I don't eat only local food or I would not be eating an orange. It's hard to do everything we should do. So hard.

JAHD

Don't Tell Anyone

Here's a secret: I can cook. I don't cook good things often and I get out of it when I can but, if I apply myself in the kitchen, I can cook. Once in a while I even cook well. And I am pretty darn good at baking. So, there's hope. But what goes wrong most nights of the week?

Well, I don't plan. I don't plan when I buy groceries and I don't plan dinner early in the day. I shouldn't really be surprised by now when dinnertime arrives but it would seem that I am. This is not a proud tale. I want to change this situation. I bought a slow cooker and I appreciate that it is a good idea. But, I don't think ahead and use it. Just what is going on here?

While the planning would help, I know that before dinner, my mind is not at its best. Maybe it's low blood sugar. Whatever it is, I need to eat and I need to eat fast. Sometimes I may even be a bit grumpy before dinner. There are people who would confirm that. I won't ask them.

So, whatever stops me from cooking well, I want to stop it. I was looking on the Internet for new art prints to hang on our kitchen wall tonight and I found a set of prints entitled "Passion for Cooking" by Charlene Winter Olson. I wondered if I could develop such a passion. Could I lovingly chop vegetables and saute things and mix sauces and come up with wonderful meals? I hope so. I'm going to try. Good food is important. It's certainly worth some more effort.

I wish, for so many reasons, that we could have baked goods for dinner. That would really make things easier.

JAHD