As we both know, our relationship since Sept 7, 2011, when we first met in the IKEA parking lot, has had its ups and downs. I think if we are both completely honest, both of us have done things that, in hindsight, we know we should not have done. Your chewing, the time you bit me, the mealtimes when I've hit you on the head with carrots - we have failed each other on occasion. Now is not the time to go into all of that though. I will keep to the point and focus on the issue that has caused me to write to you today.
I did not mean to drop you, Theodore. Your safety and well-being are a priority at all times and certainly when I am carrying you back to your home. I hope that you are not sore today from the fall and I understand that you may be upset and perhaps humilated by it. I am sorry.
While I do take responsibility for what happened, I must note some factors that could have contributed:
1. You had completed a thorough washing of yourself just prior to the event. I wonder whether this had left you especially slippery. Perhaps you could adjust your bathtime schedule. We can work on this together.
2. At times, you move around a lot as I carry you. I'd like to remind you that you are a somewhat large and definitely powerful rabbit and it can be challenging to anticipate and respond to your every move. As you know now, such fighting and flailing poses a danger to you. Please consider the consequences of your actions.
3. It's possible that you wanted to get to your bathroom quickly. Falling out of my arms and landing on the hard floor did not assist you in getting to your facilities any faster. While neither of us wants you to have a bathroom incident outside of your home, you have permission for that to happen should it be necessary. Don't let pride lead you astray, Theodore.
4. While you are an excellent "lap rabbit" and enjoy extended periods of affection sitting on various laps, you are not a rabbit who carries well. I will explore the possibility of a transportation and elevator system to take you to and from your home without human involvement. This might be the best choice for you.
5. Perhaps you didn't want to return home yet and I was insensitive to your needs. It's often hard to know what you want, Theodore, and if this was an act of rebellion, it didn't work. I still don't know for sure what you wanted and you risked serious injury. We have to work on better ways to communicate than that, my friend. I believe our relationship is worth it.
Again, I am sorry and please understand that I am only pointing out these concerns in the hope that we can prevent this event from being repeated. I let you fly through the air and I have to live with that. Please understand that this was in no way an act of revenge on my part for the Purple Blanket Incident. I have accepted your apology for that and will be looking for a pretty way to patch my blanket. What happened last night was bad but unintentional, my beloved pet. I look forward to interacting with you in the future and I'm glad that you are a part of our household. If I ever meet another rabbit in the IKEA parking lot, I'll take it home too and hope that it's even half as wonderful as you. And if I meet a monkey there, well, I'll figure that out when it happens.
(For readers other than Theodore, I did meet him in an IKEA parking lot. That was where his former owner and I agreed to meet for the transfer. I didn't see any monkeys walking around in coats that evening. JAHD)