Flowers in California

Flowers in California

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Hoping for Friendship, Preparing for Contempt

I am entering a situation this evening where the potential exists to make new friends.  Earlier today, I felt somewhat excited about this.  The excitement was quickly followed, however, by a sense that I may be setting up myself up for bitter disappointment.  Making friends is a tricky business; there are no guarantees.  I do not want to go in with overly high expectations.

When a group of strangers is assembled together, no one can predict what the interactions between them will be.  Will some of them have things in common and instantly bond?  Will some have personalities that will always conflict with each other?  Will everyone get along and magic be created?  Will everyone keep pretty much to him or herself?  And there is that one big question in my mind:  "Will anybody like me?"

I suppose it's ok if I don't become friends with anyone in the group.  Friendships are special and they aren't ignited every time strangers meet.  There may be people there to whom I do not wish to get close and there may people who would find my quirks, neuroses, awkwardness and intermittent ennui somewhat exhausting.  Even I don't always enjoy my own company.  But still, when we wonder even a little if we'll make a friend and then we don't, it can be sad.  It's nice to meet up with another along the way with whom we can continue the journey.

Friends are so precious.  I treasure each one that I'm lucky enough to have in my life.  It doesn't matter, I guess, if we don't become friends with everyone we meet.  It does matter that we hold on to those we have.  We all have so much to offer each other.  And our quirks and neuroses can make for some really interesting conversations.  Just not right away.


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