Changing a Mood

I went to the gym today wearing a shirt that says "Mood Subject to Change Without Notice" and the best I could hope for was a sudden change in a positive direction.  I wasn't in a good place.

My time on the treadmill was ok and I enjoyed watching a home improvement show while I stomped along to a 30 minute workout.  I suppose things were looking a little better by the time I finished but I still wasn't exactly cheerful and it was still appropriate to be wearing the shirt.  It's only fair that people are warned.

As I left the gym, a woman working at the front desk changed everything for me. She acknowledged that I was leaving and told me to have a great day.  Her words lifted my mood instantly and I told her to have a great day too.  It was all so simple but it really mattered to me.

Perhaps I needed someone to notice my presence.  Her words had nothing in particular to do with me but still they showed that I was at least visible and worthy of a small kindness.  I am very grateful that she said them.

After leaving the gym, I ran into someone whom it is always nice to see and I had some pleasant interactions on a quick trip into the mall.  Everything that has happened since being at the gym has been somewhat affected by those nice words.

We can do little things, bad or good, that make a difference.  We may never know how much of a difference we make.  But it seems to me worthwhile to keep on trying and flinging some good stuff out there.  Maybe someone will catch a little something and pass it on.

JAHD

The Guy Who Lives There

I went for a long walk today.  Early on, I realized I was walking past the house of a man who is alleged to have committed troubling crimes.  The ugly reality of this situation didn't fit with the gentle beauty of the fall day.

The charges against this man are very bad.  He is alleged to have harmed children and at least one woman and I do not excuse him for those things.  And while I don't know that asking him to leave the neighbourhood is right, I do think that he should not live across from a school and playground.  That puts a burden on that institution and all users of the playground.  The seriousness of the situation and the protection of children must not be diminished.

With those things being said, I admit to feeling some compassion for this man.  When I walk by his house, I'm aware that a human being lives there.  It was a beautiful fall day outside for him too.  Did he notice that? Does he like the beauty of the colourful leaves on the ground?  He's still  a person who sleeps and gets up and eats.  Does he engage in any innocent activities that bring him joy?

Given the choice, I doubt that this man would choose for his mind to be one which has led him to his crimes. I don't know if he can change and I don't know how he should be handled.  What I do know is that I remember his humanity even as I abhor his crimes.

JAHD

Trying Something New

On a Saturday night, 2 weeks ago, I was in a hotel room in Carlsbad California with my family.  The weather was surprisingly unpleasant but still, I will never complain about being in Southern California and near the Pacific Ocean.   It's a pretty good place to be.  The next day's activities were uncertain at that point and, while family vacations have many pleasant elements, there is also an ever-present risk that choices will be made that don't please everybody or perhaps even anybody.  It was important to come up with something good.

My phone decided to enter the conversation and suggested that we might like to go to Balboa Park in San Diego.  I didn't know about Balboa Park and decided to find out some information about it.

The park's website was helpful and we were interested.  Still, though, we couldn't be sure it would be somewhere we'd like to go and while it sounded great, what if it had become rundown or neglected?  There was a story on the news that night about a nighttime walk taking place in it.  Its purpose was to stand up to violence. That wasn't especially reassuring.  But it wasn't even fear that made me hesitate about going.  It was new to us - did we want to try it out?

We did decide to try it out, whatever our reservations, and within a few minutes of arriving within that massive urban park, I knew that we had made the right decision.  It's an amazing place - there are many museums, gardens, an Arts and Crafts house, and a fascinating history behind every attraction. An enthusiastic man at an information center tried to explain it all to us.  It was a lot to take in but soon, brochure in hand, we were able to choose some places to visit.  All three of us were interested in the baseball section of the sports museum and I marveled at the Arts and Crafts Marston House.  As well, just being in and walking around the park was interesting.

In addition to the information we learned at Balboa Park and the enjoyment we had there that day, I take away more from the experience.  I have new pictures in my mind and, more importantly, I have gained an awareness of how important it is to try new things.  There are lots of places to go in and around San Diego and we could have returned to somewhere that we knew.  But we did this that day and I am glad.

I will try to remember this experience the next time I am in an unknown city or situation.  And I will pay close attention from now on to any suggestions my phone makes.  It turns out it has some really good ideas.

JAHD

Book Titles For Your Consideration On Topics Important To Us All

Once again, I've come up with some possible book titles.  Please take a look and see which ones are of particular interest to you.

1.  Goodbye Alonzo:  Healing Strategies for When Your Lawn Rabbit Moves On

2.  Feet and Toes:  A Photographic Extravaganza

3.  Efficient Barking for the Modern Dog:  Knowing When It Matters and Making It Really Count

4.  Dressing Your Rabbit for Halloween:   Finding a Costume You Both Will Like

5.  Planning Your Indoor Gazebo:  A Sensible Approach to a Curious Living Space

6.  When Chicken Goes Wrong:  Overcoming Your Poultry Fears

7.  Autumn's Hidden Danger:  Frightening Stumbles on Beautiful but Slippery Leaves

8.  The Potato:  Finding The Beauty In an Ugly Tuber

9.  Birthday Cakes:  Don't We All Want Only The Icing, Isn't It Time We Admit This Is True?

10. A Squirrel's Guide to Autumn:  Safety and Scheduling Tips for your Busy Gathering Season

11. Sunshine in a Shell:  A History of Eggs

12. "They're Organically Sourced and Air-Purifying" - And Other Ways to Explain
      Your Embarrassing House Fly Problem

13. Your Leafy Friend:   How to Get Closer to An Indoor Houseplant

14. Chair or Bleachers:  Solutions to Some of the Baseball Spectator's Common Dilemmas

15. You and Your Nasal Passages:  An Important Relationship and One Oft-Neglected

16. When Smoothies Go Wrong:  My Life-Changing Experience with a Blender Piece Gone Wild

17. The Pig as a Pet:  Ways to Explain Why It Is A Good Idea

18. Nap Like a Pro:  Tips for A Happy Rest (With New Bonus Feature:  A Study in Drool)

19. Harrowing Crafting Stories from People Not Well-Suited to Crafts

20. My Thoughts on Lettuce (First Time in Book Form)

Your feedback is welcome.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all!

JAHD

Desperate Situations

This past week, 111 people (and probably many more) died after a boat ran into trouble and sank between Africa and Italy.  There were 155 survivors.  The boat was only about 600 metres from shore when it met its tragic end.  The passengers on this boat were attempting migration to Europe.  These attempts are not rare:

"Thousands make the perilous crossing each year, seeking a new life in the prosperous European Union. Smugglers charge thousands of dollars a head for the journey aboard overcrowded, barely seaworthy boats that lack life vests. Each year hundreds die undertaking the crossing."  (Toronto Star, Article By: Luca Bruno Andrea Rosa Associated Press, Published on Sat Oct 05 2013)

In addition to feeling sad for the many victims of this tragedy, I have concern for the plight of all the people who board these boats.  How bad are their lives in the countries from which they come?  How dim do their prospects appear?  What makes it seem worth the risk to pay the money and crowd onto these dangerous boats?

It would be good, if it were possible, to improve the safety of these boats.  Perhaps that should be attempted.  It wouldn't address the reasons though why people board them.  It wouldn't address the desperate situations in the countries these people leave behind.  A tragedy like this can bring to our attention that people in some countries live in terrible conditions.  We can then consider what actions may be taken to change that.

Whatever happens in the future, this tragedy has taken place.  I feel bad for all those who lost their lives.  I am very sorry that their dreams ended as they did.

JAHD 
 

On Meeting Outside The Pancake House

I walked towards the pancake restaurant.  We both knew where it was although I don't think either of us had pancakes during our time in that city.  As I walked, I wondered if I would recognize the person I was meeting.  It had been over 20 years since we'd seen each other.  Some changes could be expected.

I entered the building and saw and knew him right away.  The years were gone.  A friendly connection was still there.  I was happy to see him again.

This reunion wouldn't have happened if not for the encouragement of my friend (his sister) and my brother.  Normally, we live thousands of miles apart.  For a few days, we would be in the same city.

Even with the encouragement to get together, we could have avoided following up, I could have given into my shyness, the whole thing could have gone by the wayside.  We would have missed out, though, on a happy afternoon of coffee and conversation.  We would have missed out on a chance to reconnect.

When we don't take opportunities, we don't know what could have been.  People don't hold up signs to remind us.  It might be better (but weird) if they did.  The trip to see my brother and his family would have been good anyways.  But this visit made it better.  I'm glad I picked up the phone.  I'm glad to have a happy memory instead of an unknown absence in my life.

JAHD

Letting Opportunites Go By

I guess that's how it goes.  A local continuing education facility had offered flower arranging courses.  Some of them were for a day or even a morning.  It would offer a quick trip into that activity and as I know very little about flower arranging, a small sample of it was what I'd want.  I love flowers and colours; maybe I would like flower arranging.  The idea was in my head.

I did nothing about this.  At all.  But I knew that the courses were offered.  Today I decided that yes, I want to take one.  I want to see what's it about.  It turns out that those courses aren't offered anymore.

It was so easy to keep this idea, this possibility way at the back of my mind.  And it's not a huge issue for me - I don't plan to pursue this field.  I was interested in seeing what it was like though and I let a chance go by.

For me, this is a reminder to try to "Seize the Moment" a little bit more.  The moment passes.  Sometimes it's too late.  I'm tracking down other flower arranging courses but I've already learned a lesson.  Perhaps it is all for the best as I might sneeze a lot if I worked with flowers for an extended period of time.  But I might have learned to make beautiful arrangements too and I'm sorry I missed that.

JAHD

Fleeing from the Keyboard

I'm having trouble writing.  For a while, I've been starting to write and then, the ideas, the words don't flow and I leave the computer.  I don't finish what I start.  I don't experience the joy.

I want to trust that the flow will begin again.  There is no formal guarantee of that but I choose to trust.  I sense that the words are starting to come now.  I'm pleased that this is so.

Perhaps I have read too much about writing lately.  Perhaps I have read too much about many things lately.  But that's ok.  It is part of the journey.

I won't force writing.  If I have little to say, that's ok for now.  I'll wait.  And tell myself it's ok.

JAHD

A Good Enough Birthday But...

It's not that it was a bad day.  It had some nice parts.  The weather was beautiful.  My husband and son tried to do things that would make me happy.  I really enjoyed a big family walk and watching my son play baseball.  Still, my birthday wasn't as exciting as I'd wanted it to be.  What did I want?  What should have happened?  What would have really made it feel special?  It was weird looking at the date various times and seeing my birthday stare back at me.  So, this is the big day.  Why wasn't it so big?

Some people might say that as an adult, no one should expect much of a splash for a birthday.  That kind of thing is for kids.  They get the presents, the parties, the excitement of reaching a new age.  Maybe.  Maybe we should leave it to them.  I wonder, though, if maybe we should dedicate a day, just one day, each year in which we honour each person and make them feel special.  We don't make them tell us what they want to do.  We take the time to show them that we already know what they like to do, who they are and that we really want to make them happy.  It's something we want to offer to them.

I don't know exactly what I wanted my birthday to be but yesterday wasn't it.  To be quite honest, I want to be celebrated.  I think we all should be.  I think we're all amazing.  We should be reminded of that at least once a year.

JAHD

A List of Random Thoughts

I have some thoughts to share with you this evening.  I make no promise that they will enrich your life in any way.  With that disclaimer out of the way, please proceed.

1.  As I lay in bed the other night, reading, I saw a creature flying around up near the ceiling.  While its size appeared similar to that of a Canada Goose, its disposition seemed much more menacing.  It turned out to be a moth.  (I did not have my contact lenses in at the time.)  Now, as the days go by and I have to go to sleep each night not knowing where it might be and how evil its intentions are, I live with the dark threat of its presence.  I know that this situation may not end well for at least one of us.  I fear it may be me.

2.  I ventured away from my usual grocery store today and shopped elsewhere.  I was there at a busy time and the store is very big.  I got a sense that shopping there is a bit of a competitive sport.  Scraps of various fruits and vegetables littered the floor and it looked look quite a battle had been raging for a while.  Strangely, I liked it.  It was nice to feel some energy in the food shopping experience and I will return to that store.  After purchasing expired juice, moldy cheese and being charged way too much for a watermelon at my normal store, I'm ready for a change.  I'll try not to trip on the scattered produce and think things should go quite well.

3.  I remain astonished that Chunky Monkey ice cream is banana-flavoured.  I would never have guessed at the connection between monkeys and bananas that led to this name and thank my friend Patty for kindly pointing this out to me.  Who, other than Patty, knew?  As it turns out, I don't care for banana-flavoured ice cream and would only like it less if it  really lived up to its name and contained pieces of monkey (or any meat really).  Some items should never be brought together.  In my opinion, chicken and pizza also fall into this category.

4.  This morning (Saturday) at about 7:30, people starting using chainsaws at a house across the street. Whatever they were doing was over with quickly.  As this was my first day off since I left my Saturday job, I was somewhat disappointed by this morning ruckus.  It is legal to do this that early on a Saturday morning but it seems mean.  Perhaps what's most concerning about all of this is that no trees appear to have been altered or removed at that house.  I'm not sure I want to know for what purpose the chainsaws were used.

5.  I have reason to believe that people are sneaking into my house and stealing selected items of clothing.  I have many reasons to wonder why anyone would do that.  Moments ago, as I was putting clothes into the washing machine, I remembered a top that I hadn't seen for a while.  There is another top I had already declared to be lost.  These are not valuable items but I bought them because I wanted to wear them and that's difficult now.  Perhaps I will have to institute better inventory control methods.  It's sad when it comes to this inside one's home.

6.  After accepting and enjoying medium roast coffee at Starbucks a few times when the dark roast was not ready, I began to wonder if perhaps medium roast was my preference after all.  I ordered it the other day and it's true.  How could I not have known for so long?  Are there other choices in my life that I should question?  There are a variety of tomato colours out there - have I been wrong to stick to red all these years?  What about eggs?  And maybe I could have loved lop ear rabbits after all - I've stuck to ones whose ears are well-supported.  Apparently there are many things that need reconsideration now.

7.  Aside from the fact that I have long loved rabbits and I keep them as pets, I consider it an honour that a young jackrabbit (whom we've named Alonzo) feels comfortable spending a lot of his time outside our house.  While occasionally he gets alarmed and will scamper away when we are near, often he continues lying down as we come and go and talk to him.  He seems to know he's pretty safe here and last week even stayed still as three men in a furnace cleaning truck arrived out front.  I see neighbours of mine chase rabbits away - I value the comfort of a wild animal so much more highly than a perfect lawn.  I am glad Alonzo has us.

Those are my thoughts for this evening.  I sense that I will have a lot more to say in the coming days so, you know, you have been warned.

Happy Sunday night!

JAHD