All That Sludge

Today, for me, is a day about blockages. Hopefully, as well, it is a day about breaking through them. I really need to do that in the kitchen drain and my rabbit will feel a lot better if we can do that in his digestive system too.

Perhaps it is a day, too, on which we can consider blockages that aren't physical. Personally, I need and want to break through the blockages, the walls that keep me from believing I can succeed in any way. I'm tired of being surrounded by these beliefs, conscious or not, that tell me I could never do that, I shouldn't try that, others may succeed at something but I never would. It doesn't matter where all this comes from - it has to go away. I need to take action to break through the heavy, thick, ugly, grey sludge that's in my mind. (On a side note, I don't know if any of those adjectives were necessary to describe sludge. Are they there to clarify that I'm not referring to sludge that's light, thin, pretty, and colourful? I suppose the extra information doesn't hurt.)

I wonder how many other people are wasting their talents, blocked from sharing them, blocked by their beliefs. It is a shame and a waste. The world needs everyone to offer that which they have to share. I wonder if I can play a role in helping others get unblocked too. Wow, that is something I would like to be able to do. Again, there, I question that I would be able.

I believe we have roles to play in the world. Sitting on my couch and feeling myself to be without power, connection, know-how is not mine. I hope. I can't provide instructions for breaking through sludge right now because I don't yet know how. I hope soon to be able to report on how I unclogged my life and got the flow going. At the very least I hope to have a successful kitchen drain story to share soon and a happy tale about my rabbit's recovery. There's a lot of sludge around here right now to get through.

JAHD

The Sad Little Boy at Summer Camp

I don't know why he's sad. I caught a glimpse of him as a counselor spoke with him, at the back of the room, away from the other campers. The counselor was young himself. Perhaps his youth would be an advantage as he tried to help this boy. He may well understand what it's like to be so little and so sad.

There are so many reasons a boy like that could be sad. It's Monday - is this his first at camp? Is this his first day away from Mom? Or is another day of many this summer when he's been in that building, at a camp, trying to pretend he's having fun when he's not? Is he in trouble and not usually in trouble and feeling awful about that? Or is always in trouble and he knows that he should cry? No, I think this boy's sadness was real. Is he tired? That happens. Or is he afraid to go in the pool? That could happen. The world's still pretty new to this little guy; sometimes it's hard to be brave.

We all face challenges - even big boys and girls. I wrote the first two paragraphs yesterday before I knew about Robin Williams. Such a funny, funny man felt so much pain. I hope that the little boy is feeling happier now. If only a camp counselor could take everyone aside who feels pain and really help them. If only.

JAHD

Some New Book Titles For Your Consideration

Once again, I have developed a list of potential book titles. Your input on any and all of them is very welcome. Any one of them could end up being a masterpiece. Or not.

1.  Occasional Tooth Flossing and the Treasures You Can Find

2.  Decorating With Bananas

3.  The Case for Hopping:  An Insightful Compilation of Essays by Rabbits and Kangaroo Authors

4.  The Sunday Morning Traffic Helicopter: Addressing the Question "Why?"

5.  Strategies for the Unusually-Toed (Volume 1):  Finding the Right-Shaped Shoes

6.  A Squirrel's Guide to Summer: Relaxing while Planning for Your Busy Gathering Season

7.  The Avocado:  Getting to Know It Better and Making It Your Friend

8.  You and Your Bad Mood:  Exploiting Its Awesome Power for Personal and Professional Gain

9.  The Role of Pickles in Today's Society And a Look at the Years Ahead

10. "How Was Clown College?" - Hilarious Things to Say When People Make Fun of Your Comedy Class

11. Going Out for Breakfast: Towards An Understanding Of Why Eating Eggs in Public Brings Such Joy

12. People and their Dustbuster Handheld Vacuums: A Stunning Photo Collection

I will leave the list at that for now and should get working on title number five. I could really use some right-shaped shoes.

Happy reading!

JAHD

Random Thoughts I'll Share on an August Afternoon

Well, thoughts come to us. Here are some of my recent ones. Please feel free to comment upon and discuss them.

1.  Sun-dried tomato and chicken sausages are not an entirely delightful food. Even in the fun environment of a street festival, I did not enjoy or finish my hot dog. The bun was good but wasn't enough to win out over a disappointing sausage.I will note this for future reference. I suppose I just did.

2.  I wonder if anyone has ever considered that children might not like balloons. I saw several balloons fly up in the air today and I never heard a child crying or saw one standing with a look of utter devastation on his or her once happy young face. Maybe they just let go of them because they don't want them. And really, what excitement is there to holding onto a string? While this might be a crushing blow to the helium and helium tank industry (and balloon manufacturers but I hold out hope that they can adapt), perhaps it's time we stopped giving children balloons. It doesn't seem like they'd care.

3.  I've had a lot of turmoil finding a hairstylist. I like to think that it's not all my fault - especially when they suddenly leave the salon without telling me (although thankfully, so far at least, not mid-hair service) but I wonder.  Is my hair particularly challenging or do they have an issue with my personality? I'm not skilled in small talk but do I do so badly that people flee or, as in one case, an appointment I thought I had made vanishes?  More troubling though is the fact that I have now found a stylist who assures me she is not going anywhere. I believe her. The problem is that I don't like what she did to my hair. Yes, she is the one who will stay and whom I will try avoid seeing in places around the neighbourhood.

4.  I struggle with whether or not my family should keep subscribing to our local newspaper. Some columnists I liked are gone from it, I learn what's happening in the city and world from other sources, and I find myself spending less and less time looking at this newspaper. I do enjoy my newspaper reading routines though and I might have to come up with some substitute procedures. I could eat my breakfast while looking at a newspaper sized piece of cardboard situated underneath my plate and then carry it into the living room to continue my viewing while I drank a morning cup of coffee. It is my hope that I would realize the futility of this practice and be able to let it go. I wonder how long that would take.

5.  My decision to move my pajamas to a different drawer, in a different dresser was wrong. I am sorry to all those who were hurt by that decision (that may just be me). While changing some things around can be good, it seems that other things belong in certain locations and in those locations, they should stay. I am relieved that no longer will I have to look at the third drawer down in the taller dresser and think - "Oh, there's where my pajamas used to be. How I love to recall those glorious days." Instead, I will be able to look at that drawer and pull out pajamas once again. I look forward to the comfort and security that reality will bring.

6. I think it may be time to befriend the avocado.  (Further information and instructions to follow.)

7.  At dinner, I found myself trying to use a fork, knife and spoon for our spaghetti and meatballs dinner. My reasoning was that I needed the spoon to help roll the spaghetti up onto the fork, I needed a knife to cut the meatballs and, while I doubt it requires explanation, I use a fork to eat. I was quite unfamiliar with this selection of cutlery pieces though and kept being confused by the spoon's inability to be a knife. It's amazing how something so simple can be very disorienting. We become very used to the ways in which we do things and we don't always attack a dinner with these 3 utensils. Perhaps we never should.

8. While in the grocery store today, I noticed a breakfast theme in one aisle and recalled hearing at one time that the store was to be classified by meals. Looking across the aisle, however, I saw boxed mashed potatoes and fake chicken gravy powder. To me, cereal seems like a more suitable choice for that spot. So, either some people begin their days in ways I had never considered or the store did not follow the meal classification idea closely. I hope for the latter. I'm not sure a world where people eat mashed potatoes slathered with gravy for breakfast would be a good place.

Happy Friday and I'm not judging anyone's breakfast choices (judge, judge). I am questioning the role of sundried tomato and chicken sausages at any time of day though. In my opinion, those just weren't good. Have fun!

JAHD

When You're Trying to Do What's Right

I phoned the police the other day. It wasn't just that I was lonely and thought it might be nice to chat. Rather, I had seen some things that I found concerning and I thought they should know. That call went pretty well and I believe that the situation was going to be addressed.

I know of other experiences when phoning the police has been more troubling and seemed somewhat futile. It's not that I question the police. I have a lot of respect for them and know they deal with many very troubling situations. I admire and appreciate them. It is their dispatch procedures that confuse me somewhat and make me question whether it's worthwhile to report things we see. Calls like the following one have soured me:

Dispatcher:  What is your emergency?

Husband: There's a couple having a potentially violent fight in a bus shelter at 1st St. and 2nd St. (fictional address, only partially fictionalized telephone call)

Dispatcher: And?

Husband: Well, that seems like a bad thing.

Dispatcher: I guess. At what corner of the intersection is the shelter?

Husband: Southeast.

Dispatcher:  What's the stop number for the bus at that shelter? Is there a bench housed within it?

Husband: I really don't know. There's one bus shelter at that intersection.

Dispatcher: Huh. Could you please describe the people in the bus shelter?

Husband:  The man was probably in his early twenties, had somewhat long dark hair, and was wearing a black jacket.

Dispatcher: Could you please describe his hairstyle better? What do you mean by "somewhat long"? Had he had a haircut recently? Was there any facial hair? Did he have stubble?

Husband: I don't know about facial hair. Maybe some stubble. I guess his hair was shoulder length, a bit sloppy. Is that better?

Dispatcher:  Marginally. And the woman?

Husband: Her hair was light brown and short. She was wearing a long blue coat.

Dispatcher:  Was her hairstyle a pixie or perhaps a bob? Did it look like the light brown was her natural colour? Did she have highlights? Was the coat baby blue, navy, cerulean, perhaps indigo?

Husband: I can't answer any of those questions. I have absolutely no idea. There were only 2 people in the bus shelter, they were fighting and one was wearing some kind of blue coat.

Dispatcher: Sir, by this time, there could be a whole crowd of people in the bus shelter. We most certainly do not want to approach someone wearing a cerulean coat unnecessarily.

Husband: Wouldn't it have been better to send a car to the bus shelter at the start of the call?

Dispatcher:  You're attitude has become rather combative. Now, were either of these people wearing or holding a hat, umbrella, portfolio or what appeared to be a musical instrument?

Husband:  I don't think so.

Dispatcher: You don't sound certain.

Husband:  OK, no. If I'd noticed those things I would have mentioned them earlier.

Dispatcher: I see. Sir, where are you located at this time?

Husband: I'm walking into the auto show.

Dispatcher:  Yes. We thought so. We've been tracking you and will have officers waiting to attend.

Husband:  But what did I do? I was trying to help...

Dispatcher:  You've provided information to us which is helpful in no way. As well, your demeanor is problematic. Next time, please have all hairstyle and coat colour information handy before you make the call. The attending officers will go over this with you en route to arrest processing.

Husband: I guess I'm not going to the auto show.

Dispatcher: All of this could have been avoided if you hadn't called.

Husband: I'll know next time.


While I've exaggerated, one call my husband made was disappointingly similar to this one. I don't know why all the detail was needed. He'd call the police again in a similar situation but he might study more first and take better notes. He did get to go to the auto show.

I don't know what happened to those people in the bus shelter. Maybe that call made a difference. I am hopeful that sometimes we can.

JAHD

On Trying to Make the Most of the Beautiful Summer Season or, as some would say, Shopping for a Chair

My family members and I spent some time this past weekend looking for an object that would meet my unique outdoor seating needs (or, as they would probably say, shopping for a chair). It was a somewhat disheartening experience. I have a new chair but I don't know about my needs being met. Perhaps they really are unique in the outdoor furniture world. I don't know.

To me, outdoor furniture often requires a rigidity in sitting that I do not enjoy.  On couches and chairs inside the house, I can curl up or stretch out in a variety of configurations. I am not entirely comfortable in any chair that requires me to sit, facing forward, with both feet on the floor. Many a summer has gone by with me spending very little time outside. Before I know it. it's fall and I'm saying "Oh dear, another summer has gone by and I've stayed inside for so much of it because of the disparity in comfort between the indoor and outdoor furniture." It's sad to say that every year and hard to remember some of the words so I would like, this year, to finally acquire something comfortable.

During our quest to find the object, we saw anti-gravity chairs at the front of one store. I had been wondering about them but, as I said to my family, I've never been against gravity. It's such a reliable force and, unless I'm falling, I don't have a problem with it. I certainly don't see a need to defy it as I sit outside writing or reading a book.

As we looked in that same store, I considered other options in chairs and chaise lounges. None of them allowed for a lot of flexibility in sitting position. There are outdoor couches too but they come as part of whole sets and the funds are not really there to buy a complete garden furniture set. I'm not sure that they would be really comfortable anyways.

On our way out of the store we saw more anti-gravity chairs. I suppose I hadn't expressed my pro-gravity thoughts very well and the other members of my family, never fully understanding my viewpoints perhaps, seemed eager for me to just buy something. I gave in and we purchased an attractive red gravity-defying chair.

I looked forward to trying out the new chair out but when I did, I wasn't thrilled with the experience. The chair does recline and there's not a requirement to sit in a strictly conventional position but there's also not a lot of room to curl up and there's much about the shape this chair assumes that brings to mind a trip to the dentist. Those aren't always a lot of fun.

I hope I spend more time outside this summer, in this chair or not. They do go by quickly and it's a shame when we let ourselves miss out on any of life's pleasures. There may be a need for more comfortable outdoor seating in the world but there is a beautiful world out there to enjoy regardless. I really don't want to have to repeat that rueful and overly wordy sentence again this year and I hope no one else does either. Enjoy! That's far fewer words and a much better sentiment. I hope you do lots of enjoying this summer.

JAHD

Losing Your Shoe

Don't you hate it when you're looking for your shoes and you can only find one and you find that really weird because you'd come home within the past hour and you really think you would have been wearing two shoes and if you weren't wearing two shoes when you were out, wouldn't you have have noticed or wouldn't somebody have said something or at least stared and is that why you had foot discomfort when you were out, because one foot was dragging along the concrete while the other one was happily protected by a shoe even if it was only a flip flop and man, why do these things keep happening to you, and how are you ever going to tell your husband and son that you lost your shoe when you were out because they seem to think you're kind of weird already based on a lot of things you do and this is not going to help your case any and exactly how does one lose a shoe when they go out to dinner and will you have to phone the restaurant you were in and ask if there's a grown-up size flip flop in the lost and found and you just know that if it's there they'll be aware of it because single grown-up size shoes probably don't end up in the lost and found often and if they have it, the question arises of who's going into the restaurant to get it because you certainly don't want to and maybe you could send your husband and he wouldn't have to disclose his relationship to you but rather just say he was there to pick up the shoe and he might be okay with that although he might not because he's probably going to be of the opinion that you were the one who lost the shoe and you should be the one who goes in to retrieve it and you acknowledge that this is a good point but you'd still be embarrassed to go into the restaurant and you like the restaurant and want to be able to go back to it but then, thank goodness, you find your other shoe?

Me too.

JAHD

On Razor Blades and Driving

I noticed a razor blade on the pavement the other day. It was within a pedestrian crosswalk, as was I. In trying to figure out why it ended up there, I came up with only a few reasonable possibilities:

1.  Someone (possibly a man, could be a woman) was driving along and shaving when they had to brake suddenly. The blade flew out of their razor and they were so preoccupied with the traffic situation (as they should have been all along) that they left the blade behind and did not finish shaving whatever body part they'd been working on.

2. Someone needed to change blades while they were driving and shaving. Probably an especially tricky procedure to undertake while driving, they couldn't handle the intricacies of it and the blade fell out the window.

3. Someone was slicing fruit, perhaps into a decorative shape, while they were driving and they lost their grip on the blade. You might be thinking "Wait, you fool, people don't use razors to slice decorative fruit." My response to that would be, how can we explain the choices someone who works on fruit art while driving makes? These people are different - we can't necessarily know their motivations. I assume you're sorry you called me a fool now.

4. Someone was driving along after just purchasing razor blades. Suddenly they decided that yes, they were going to grow a beard (again, possibly a man, maybe a woman) and they no longer needed razor blades. Dumping their purchase on the road is impulsive, and littering is not good, but we all make impulsive decisions at times which we may regret later (like writing this entry).

5. A pedestrian was engaged in any of the above activities (except the driving) and dropped the blade on the road. Perhaps they'd encountered a threatening traffic situation (likely caused by an inattentive driver who's shaving) or engaged in some personal clumsiness. Let's not forget that pedestrians can be too inattentive too and are just as likely as drivers to be carving fruit or engaging in personal grooming at an inopportune time.

Maybe others can come up with additional explanations for the presence of that razor blade. I don't know. Be careful, my friends, and please don't shave or carve fruit while driving or walking. I think we've all learned that now.

JAHD

A Goose in a Marsh ... For Now

I'm not an expert on waterfowl although with ducks moving in close to my house, for reasons I find confusing, maybe one day I will claim that title. Still, when I saw a marshy area yesterday, I knew that it would be a perfect place for Canada Geese to nest and very soon that was confirmed. One Canada Goose stood in the marsh. I couldn't see if there was a nest but I suspect that there would be one there. I hope that the mate was out gathering food or perhaps enjoying a relaxing afternoon flight (again, I am not a waterfowl expert; I don't know what they do for fun).

I learned a little of the nesting habits of Canada Geese when I was in grade two and my teacher told us of some that were nesting near her apartment building. The building was quite new and the geese had set up their home in an adjacent area that was as yet undeveloped.

Canada Geese are loyal birds. I know from reading Timothy Findley's lovely and gentle book about his home and life (From Stone Orchard) that Canada Geese mate for life. Together, they can be relied upon to return to the same nesting spot annually after their winter migrations. 

While that Canada Goose I saw yesterday seemed to be doing well, I wonder what next year and years beyond that will be like for it. A new corporate headquarters has been built just beyond the marshy area. There's a shopping area beyond that and homes close by. That area is not set up to be a goose habitat for much longer. One year, perhaps very soon, the geese will come back and their home will be gone.

We can't know what it's like to be Canada Geese that have to find a new home and nesting spot. Whatever they feel or know, though, they have to change their plans because of what we have done to their habitat. Whether what we do is right or wrong, it seems sad to me that things change in this way for these loyal and reliable birds.

Perhaps Canada Geese evaluate the situation and simply look for and find other nesting locations. I hope so. And I hope that for this nesting season, at least, the geese in that marsh have an opportunity to raise some happy little goslings and enjoy themselves. And maybe offer some nearby residents a chance to see and appreciate a bit of nature in the form of a little goose family.

JAHD

Thoughts and Things

I'll share a few words on thoughts that have been floating around in my head and in the case of the shredded cheese, flying through the air and hitting me.

1.  I have long enjoyed eating eggs at breakfast but recently found that cereal was easier and day after day I dug into a bowl.  I still bought eggs though and they sat abandoned in the fridge.  Then they staged a rebellion.  I didn't see it coming.  Twice, when I was standing at the fridge, an egg carton fell out of the fridge and each time, one egg broke on the floor.  These were messy reminders for me to reconsider my breakfast choices.  Even at the grocery store, I picked up a carton and one egg was broken.  It was always one egg, there was always one message.  Eggs want to be a part of my life again.  I am pleased to welcome them back.

2.  It can be uncomfortable enough running into a former hairstylist but running into a former psychologist would be far worse.  You just know that responding "Because I'm well" to the question of why you stopped coming to them would be met with a derisive "Yeah, right" because they of all people would know how far from the truth that likely continues to be.  It would be so demoralizing.  Nobody enjoys comments like that when they're out on a lovely spring day. It's a situation I really hope to avoid.

3.  I was thinking about feet and about how I want to fix up my feet before I ever go for a pedicure again. While this may seem unnecessary, I don't want someone to have to work hard simply because I've been too lazy to reach down and moisturize my feet when required (Rocky Mountain Soap Foot Butter is excellent for this and no, I'm not being paid to promote it; it's really good).  It must be strange working on people's feet no matter how disappointing you find their lack of foot care to be.  I expect my feet have caused some despair in the past and I'll do my best to ensure that no esthetician ever has to scrape, boil or use excessive chemical force to make my feet smooth and nice again.

4.  There is a house on our street that my son and I describe as "the yellow house that's not yellow."  It used to be yellow.  Its siding is now of a colour close to yellow and could perhaps be described as beige or washed-out tan.  Regardless of one's feelings on the current colour (and mine are not very positive), I continue to feel that the house is, at heart, still a yellow house and should be recognized as such.  I feel this way about no other houses around here, some of which have had more drastic colour changes.  That house will always be yellow to me.

5.  I've been thinking about what it would be like to have a seal for a pet.  I can picture having one around the house.  Puddles and splashing would probably be concerns and might make seal ownership difficult but I find it interesting to think of which animals we invite into our homes and which ones have never become pets.  I can see why something like a camel could be a problem (they're pretty tall) and I know people have run into problems with pigs (they do get big) but I'm not sure why monkeys are such a no-no (although I wouldn't want a monkey - my feelings on monkeys are iffy at best) and what about squirrels, groundhogs, and smaller-sized goats?  I wonder when and how we made decisions about who gets in and who doesn't.

6.  My son threw a bag of shredded cheese at me yesterday so I could open it for him.  It hit me on the leg and it hurt.  While I'm glad it wasn't solid cheese as who knows how badly that could injure a person, the kid throws pretty hard.  The time may have come to tell him that he has to stop throwing dairy (and perhaps other grocery products) at his mother.  I guess we all knew this day would come.

7.  I saw a woman today whose hair I liked.  I've heard people say that a woman would be flattered if you went up to her and asked her where she got her hair done.  I would be.  I'd be a little uncomfortable doing that though and I have a hairstylist I like right now.  I'd be more interested in taking the woman with good hair to my stylist and saying "Here, this is how I want my hair to look."  It could be somewhat inconvenient but it's better than saying nothing and taking pictures of the hair from many different angles.  I'd fully expect a person to be troubled by that.

Happy thoughts to all!  Please be careful when throwing cheese and other dairy products.

JAHD