Flowers in California

Flowers in California

Monday, October 22, 2012

On Not Seeking Revenge

Recently I was involved in an unpleasant interaction with someone.  It was very upsetting at the time and while it was happening and afterwards, I could have made it worse.  I could have fled from the situation.  That would have been very irresponsible.  I could have complained vehemently afterwards and pointed fingers in the direction of various people.  I could have used more subtle methods to seek revenge.  (If anyone ever needs some ideas on how to respond angrily to a situation, give me a call.  I can really be counted on to have some nasty ideas.)  In this situation, though, I calmed down, thought things through and I didn't cause any trouble.  While this really went against my natural inclinations, I am glad that I chose the path I did.

Regardless of who was right or wrong in this conflict, holding onto anger and seeking revenge would have only added more negative energy to the situation and the world.  Liking people and proceeding peacefully with them is way more pleasant than feeling hostility towards them (or wondering when they will step in their shoes and find them filled with an unidentified liquid - one of the many revenge strategies I did consider).  Forgiveness and a brief discussion of earlier concerns turned out to be the way to proceed.  People are feeling ok with each other again and I am glad.

I can't guarantee that I will always act admirably when confronted with unpleasantness in the future.  I hope this incident has helped me learn, though, that knee-jerk reactions aren't the best ones to employ.  Looking like a jerk would be the most likely result of them.  I prefer to avoid that if I can.  Yes, it's a shame that so many creative revenge ideas will go to waste.  But I can have fun with them in my head and I am always willing to share them with others.  I advise against using them but they can be a lot of fun to consider.



  1. Well done. It takes a lot of strength not to freak out.

  2. Thanks! Freaking out would be my default course of action but this is a better way. Thanks for reading, Betty!