On Papa Smurf and Hoarding

For the past few days, I have been cleaning out and rearranging kitchen cupboards.  It's kind of fun.  And I look forward to trying out the new set-up.  It's entirely possible I will be shuffling it all back to the way it was but for now, I'm hopeful.

As I go through kitchen items, it becomes obvious that we have too many of some items.  So, off to Goodwill they will go.  When I look at some, I'm not sure that Goodwill will want them even though we were using them until last week.  I use things for a long time because I don't like to waste things.  I don't want to send items to Goodwill that they can't use and which will require disposal.  It can be a tough call.

I also have a bit of a tug-of-war about certain items.  There can be the sentimentality factor and a strange reluctance to get rid of something that we've had a long time.  I have watched shows such as Hoarders and Hoarding:  Buried Alive lately though.  What I've seen and heard on those shows makes it easier to get rid of some items.  They help to alleviate guilt when that is a factor in keeping something.  After all, according to those shows, holding on to things we don't need is a terrible thing to do.

While those shows do make me consider some habits, I've learned it's important not to take the concept of purging one's items too far.  I am so glad that with one of my older items, I hadn't done that.

Recently, I went to see The Smurfs Movie.  I really enjoyed it and was envious of the Smurfs' happy lifestyle in their community.  And I had not known that Smurfs are three apples tall.  You never know when you'll need that information.  Anyways, watching the movie, I started to wonder if I still had the Papa Smurf stuffed animal that I won in an amusement park in the 80's.  I had been excited to win him on my own; none of my boyfriends in the pointless relationships that dominated my teen years had to do it for me and that meant something to me.

I knew that I had kept Papa Smurf a long time.  Well, I don't want to say a long time because that makes me sound old but, yes, it was a long time.  I also knew that I have been clearing out stuff lately.  I feared for the little blue guy.

When I got home, I went to the room where I thought he might be.  I felt really bad as I looked and didn't see him.  I knew then that we can go too far in ridding ourselves of our belongings.  I knew then that I had to put these thoughts in writing.

Happily, I found Papa Smurf.  I was so relieved.  It doesn't affect my day-to-day life that much to have him around but he is a piece of my past.  After enjoying the movie, it's even nicer to have a Smurf.  Of course we can't keep everything but we can keep some special things.

I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the fact that hoarding shows are on tv.  I have watched them, though, and I might do so again.  They seem exploitative and some, maybe most, of the people profiled seem to be really troubled.  It must be a horrible invasion of their privacy to have family and/or friends, cleaning people and a production crew enter their home.  I hope I have the resolve to do better things with my time than watch more episodes.

These shows can also make viewers, or me anyways, fear that if we don't throw things out, our homes will look like the ones shown.  I have been made aware of some bad tendencies I have.  But I am not a hoarder.  Those people are very troubled.  We don't have to throw out all our belongings.  There's a big space between keeping a few too many things and not being able to eat in one's kitchen and normalizing bug and rodent infestations.

I believe it's good and healthy to keep something like my Papa Smurf.  And he is only three apples tall.

JAHD

Mr. Jack Layton

Rest in Peace to Jack Layton, Leader of the NDP, Canada's Official Opposition Party.

I cannot honour this man adequately with a blog entry.  His letter to Canadians said it all so well.

I can't believe he's gone.

JAHD

Winds Are Blowing

When the wind was strong last night, it seemed perfect.  The winds of change are blowing through the lives of a lot of people I know right now.  They're powerful winds.

Some people are going through painful change.  For some, the changes will be wonderful.  For all of us, these changes are new.

The greyness of today's weather seemed perfect too.  We cannot yet see the colours, the effects, the new scenery these changes will create.

Friendships will endure.  But lives will change.  They must.  We must.  I am excited and a little uncomfortable.  We are treading on new ground and we have to trust that it is stable beneath our feet.  And that it's o.k. to start walking around in this redesigned world.

JAHD

What Others Say

Today someone said things to me that I found strange.  They bothered me.  I've tried to sort out how I feel about them.

As the day draws to a close, however, I am realizing that the comments another person makes say more about them than they do about me.  No, it's not normal to greet someone after their vacation and tell them it wasn't long enough.  A week at a beach seemed just right to us.  But I have areas in which I can improve too.  I will not dwell on other people's issues.  Or not for long, anyways.

Oh and, yes, I know I got more freckles from the sun.  I also got a  healthy glow.  It would have been nicer to point out the glow. 

JAHD

Isn't Travel Fun?

To avoid travel problems, it's best to stay home.  That way you wouldn't:

- find out your flight is delayed over 2 hours and that you will miss your connection and stay in a hotel in the connecting city for a flight at 7 a.m.
- stand outside a gas station in Durham North Carolina, terrified that someone in your party was having a serious food reaction
- wait for one and a half hours to get hotel vouchers in connecting city so that you are at hotel for less than 5 hours
- notice that only one of the three of you has an assigned seat on this flight and that the flight is overbooked

I can see that not everyone wants those things to happen to them.  And all of them have happened to my family within the last 24 hours.  But if we hadn't travelled, we would have also missed:

- a wonderful beach trip that included my parents

and, within the last 24 hours,

- a chance to talk to and cheer on fellow travellers as we all worked to sort out our travel issues and get on with our lives
- a little extra attention (and free breakfast) on this morning's flight because our tickets somehow indicated what we had been through
- a remarkably nice, albeit quick, sleep in a reasonably nice hotel
- the profound relief that there was no food reaction and a chance to view the rest of this situation in perspective

It was kind of my goal through the ordeal to get back to our living room.  I will go there and read through my mail.  But I don't want to stay in the living room too long.  There was a time in my life when I wore out a couch cushion from sitting on it so much.  That wasn't good for me or the couch (we had to replace it).  A lot of living happens outside the living room and if sometimes I end up tired and upset and a little frantic in an airport after 11 at night, it's just a part of the adventure.  But I'm glad we're home.

JAHD

Nature's Beauty

I understand that not everyone likes small animals, especially rabbits, as much as me.  Well, let's say I understand.  But whether one loves them or not, it troubles me to see people chase them away from their yards.  Yards are outside, rabbits are outside.  I think they go with the territory.  In a city, we are lucky to see wildlife up close.  I think it is sad and wrong to see it rebuffed when we get that chance.

A man who lives on my street really likes the outside of his house to be neat.  When he was chasing a rabbit away one time as my son and I played badminton on our lawn, I (somewhat) nicely yelled over to him that I like the rabbits.  He said nicely that he would like them too if they didn't dig holes in his lawn.  They don't dig holes.  They do create very shallow dugouts where they lie down.  And they use the same dugout repeatedly.  It's not a big deal.  And is it really that important to this man that his lawn be perfect?  It's not like he has a beautiful flower garden that's getting eaten or his family's vegetables are being stolen.  And I have colourful flowers that are low to the ground and very few get eaten.  I coexist with the rabbits.  I enjoy their presence.

I don't think I'm bothered about this just because I like rabbits.  Rather, I'm bothered because I don't see the merit in protecting perfectly tidy but boring outdoor spaces.  Flowers are beautiful.  Trees can be beautiful.  Nature is beautiful.  Animals are a part of nature.  When someone angrily tries to keep one element of nature away, there is less beauty.  When someone tries to manipulate their outdoor space with perfectionism, it's not natural.

JAHD - This piece is dedicated to Tom, the baby rabbit who lived outside our house for a few days.  Naturally.

  

No, I don't think I can dance but I like the show

Some tv shows aren't that inspiring.  I'm thinking of reality shows like Hoarders, Storage Wars, Pawn Stars, Pawnathon, American Pickers, and now Canadian Pickers (I'm just hoping the Pickers shows stop proliferating before we get to Nose Pickers.  Although My Strange Addiction already exists so that topic could be covered there).  These are just ones that I've watched.  I doubt that Big Brother, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and Swamp People really lift one's sights to higher levels either.  Maybe I'm wrong.

One show that would also fall into the reality tv category I suppose, to the extent that any show on tv depicts reality, is So You Think You Can Dance.  Happily, I find this show inspiring.

On this show, young dancers perform many dance routines in familiar and very unfamiliar genres with the hope of progressing to the end of the show's run and, ideally, being judged the best dancer.  I find it unfortunate that it is a competition, as they are all wonderful dancers, but I suppose this motivates them to try their absolute best.  And as I watch them in their pursuits of excellence, I am inspired to try my absolute best too.  I expect that other viewers are also so inspired.  I believe this is a positive thing.

For me, I will not be pursuing excellence in dancing.  That's never really been an option for me.  My passion is for writing and when I see those kids giving everything they have to their dancing, I want to give so much of what I have to writing.  They help me understand what it means to love something.  I am grateful for that show.

Maybe people find inspiration in some of the other shows on tv.  Maybe they provide relaxation and enjoyment.  Those things are good too.  For me, I don't get a lot out of them and I don't want to spend time watching.  But I will watch something that inspires me, that makes me want to do more, to dig deeper, to be better at what I love to do.  I find that a good use of time.

JAHD

On Cheering and Caregivers

I went bowling today with my son.  It's something we enjoy doing together, especially when we knock down pins.

Today there were 2 lanes near us that were occupied with bowlers who were physically and/or developmentally challenged.  I noticed that there was a big difference in what was happening at those two lanes.  I didn't like what was happening at one.

I admit that I am an outsider and maybe there is a lot more to know about the situation but this is what I saw.  In the lane to the left there was a man who, while he talked very slowly and deliberately, functioned very well and bowled well.  He had a caregiver with him.  The caregiver showed no enthusiasm for the man or his bowling.  His body language and his activities with his phone conveyed that his interests were elsewhere.  The man talked to him some but I don't know how much the caregiver said.  When the man got strikes or almost got strikes, there was no recognition.  It didn't stop him from bowling well but it would have been nice if there were some cheers for his accomplishments.

This contrasts sharply with what took place in an alley to our right.  There were a lot more people bowling and I think there were two caregivers.  The caregivers watched and reacted to the bowling.  They smiled.  They were engaged.  All of the bowlers at that lane were engaged too.  It looked and sounded like such a lot of fun.  Those people, all of them, were part of something wonderful.

The vulnerability of the man in the left lane struck me.  While his actual care may be handled well or at least adequately, I wish that he was working with someone who, well, was nicer to him.  He deserves it.  I hope that he has some people in his life who encourage and cheer him on now or in the future.  It is a joy for me to think of the fun and camaraderie the other bowlers and caregivers were experiencing.  Hopefully his caregiver noticed those things too.

JAHD

Hmm, I don't know

I woke up from a nap the other day and the words "What do you want?" were in my head.  I pictured them framed in a rectangle.  I wrote them down quickly.  I felt a need to capture them.

Since then, I have worked on the question but not fully answered it.  I'm finding it surprisingly difficult.  Is there something that should be obvious but I'm not seeing it?  Was the question just something random that entered my thoughts?  Maybe the only answer required was "A glass of water - yes, that's what I want"  I don't know.

I wonder what other people want.  What are they hoping for and working towards as they interact with people, work, play, have their quiet times.  What are you hoping for?  Do you know?  Is it only me who can't come up with an answer?  Was there a page missing in my instruction booklet?  Another one?

I'm not going to spend hours and hours on this question but I will think about it.  Maybe the answer I find will help me focus my attention and live more purposefully.  Or maybe I'll just decide I want to repaint the living room or buy new shoes.  I don't know.  All I did was take a nap and come up with a question.  It's fun to think this is profoundly meaningful.  But new shoes are fun too.

JAHD

PS - I always love to hear what you're thinking!  Comments are most welcome.  Joanne

Ambitions and Anne of Green Gables

I am reading the book "Lucy Maud Montgomery:  The Gift of Wings."  It is an incredibly well-researched and apparently thorough biography of the woman who wrote Anne of Green Gables, 19 other novels, and 500 short stories and poems.  It is long but the quality of the writing and my interest in the subject keep me moving through it.  I am glad that I bought this book.

Montgomery's childhood and adolescence were difficult, sad times for her.  She lost her mother very early, her father lived far away and her maternal grandparents raised her.  She did not get along with her grandfather.

Despite all of the difficulties in Montgomery's life, she was a creative and intelligent girl.  And despite her creativity and intelligence, she faced a battle to get an education to develop her talents.  She was a girl and at that time, girls were actively discouraged from pursuing higher education.  But still she had dreams.  Luckily, she also had her grandmother and she was willing to help out with tuition costs.

While Montgomery had a difficult family situation, I don't know that a girl who had her skills and ambitions would have fared a lot better in many families at that time.  Female teachers were paid less than male teachers although they had the same responsibilities.  Women were supposed to get married and if they didn't, there were limited options for them.  Those were society's rules and women were expected to abide by them.

The thing I don't understand is why, if it was nature's intention that women not pursue their dreams and realize their ambitions, women would have dreams and ambitions.  But they did have them then and we do have them now.  They're part of us.  So, how can it be wrong to make them come true?

A lot more recently than in Lucy Maud Montgomery's lifetime, girls' career aspirations have been handled differently than those of boys.  In Afghanistan, the right of girls to get education was revoked.  It is being returned to them now, hopefully.  Girls and boys have often been treated differently.  And yet, both can dream, both can aspire.  And both can contribute.

I don't think it does women well to discourage them from full participation in the world.  Frustrated, neglected ambition can lead to problems.

In addition to the problems for women themselves, and those are serious in my estimation, by not allowing women full particpation, the world loses out on the gifts that women can share.  If Montgomery had followed society's rules strictly, we would not have Anne of Green Gables.  It is awful to think of how many women never did develop their talents, offer their gifts and make a difference in the world.  I wonder how different the world would look if it had received all of those gifts.

As for the rest of Lucy Maud Montgomery's life, I don't know that it will be a much happier tale.  I hope that she had happy times.  She deserved them.  She brought much joy by sharing her gift and writing Anne of Green Gables and so much more.

JAHD