This morning I was walking along an almost bare sidewalk when I came to some ice. I navigated it carefully although I remembered that it was on a clean, dry sidewalk that I tripped and broke my finger a few years ago. I don't need ice to fall.
Thinking about the broken finger led me to thinking about the attention the bandaged hand received. Strangers felt free to comment on it and some were eager to learn the story of what had happened. I believe it was my friend Kim who suggested I say that I had been wrestling a bear. Along that line, I came up with the following responses to the question "What happened?" Please feel free to use any or all of them if you find yourself in a similar situation.
1. I killed a wild boar with my hands and broke my finger. The meat was good but I have to wear this bandage for a while.
2. My goldfish bit me. Again. I think I'll have to put him on a leash.
3. I have a strange affliction. It's wildly contagious. I can show you the rash.
4. I clobbered someone in my sleep.
5. I did a lot of damage in a fit of rage. It's my hair-trigger temper; anything can set me off.
6. Oh that. A tropical insect crawled under my nail and laid eggs. The scientists want to maintain the integrity of the site until the eggs have all hatched. It shouldn't be more than six months. I don't mind but I do look forward to washing my hand again.
7. It's an artistic piece I created. It's won two awards.
8. I was tortured by representatives of a foreign government. Believe me, I had it coming.
9. It was a little home surgery mishap. I probably won't try that again.
10. A dog with rabies bit me. Well, the dog has rabies now. We're not sure who gave it to whom.
I don't have immediate plans for another hand injury. But, there's a lot of bare sidewalk out there so you never know. At least I am ready, and so are you. These answers are somewhat more interesting than the standard "I fell." Please, don't fall, but if you do, have some fun! You're welcome.
JAHD
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