I was in a bookstore today and wanted to take advantage of a special offer. If you bought three books (or gift items), you would get a fourth book free. For me, being in a bookstore with extra motivation to buy is a near perfect situation. And, as it's Christmas shopping time, I can buy books for lots of people. I love buying books.
Quickly I had one book in my hands and before long, I had three. Then came the part where I had to find one more thing. There may be thousands of items I want in that store but I find it difficult when there's pressure to find something.
At this point, with it being the Christmas season and with my shopping not nearly done, I entered a bad shopping state. I had a few names floating around in my head and wanted to find anything that would let me check one of them off my list. Rather than thinking about each person and coming up with ideas for what they would like, I was looking at merchandise and trying to determine if someone might want it. To me, this seems a sad way to shop for gifts but an approach it's easy to take when there are many presents to buy.
As I looked in the gift section, I saw individual letters of the alphabet. Each was about 25-30 cm square (or round, or both, depending on the letter). I have nothing against such letters. They're a way for kids and adults too (it worked for Mary Richards on the Mary Tyler Moore show), to lay claim to their part of the world. I have no reason, however, to buy one for any of the people on my Christmas list. It seemed all I would be saying by buying one of those letters was "Look, I can identify the first letter of your name." I'd like to say a little more.
Buying one letter for someone on my list (perhaps someone with an especially interesting first initial - do we have any Xavier's, is there a Zelda in the family?) would have earned me my free item and yesterday's shopping dilemma would have been solved. I could have taken it further though and, assuming that I could find the letter for each person on my shopping list (and assuming too that I stuck to only 1 letter each and didn't try to buy enough to compose oversize messages), I could have finished my shopping in that store. Everyone would know the joy of receiving a big letter; no one would be left out.
Shopping can be that easy and that means gift-giving can be that pointless. In my opinion, when we get to the point of a large purchase of identical generic gifts for all, we really shouldn't bother. Thinking about each person, their likes, their passions, their needs, we can give them something that we think will hold special meaning for them. It takes some thought, some feeling and getting it all done can be a challenge. I would rather expend that energy though and try to do a good job.
I say all this now when there is still some time to get Christmas shopping done. If I am not finished by December 23rd, I may rush out to buy a few decorative letters and perhaps not even match them up to anyone's initials. All I'll really be saying then is "Look - I remembered that you exist and here's a letter - you can start to spell a word!" And I'd be pretty pleased with myself for this especially pointless purchase until they handed me a gift of a lovely homemade scarf in my favourite colours constructed in fibers I'm known to adore.
I will stay away from decorative letter and other non-specific purchases. I did find a fourth item in the bookstore yesterday and I think I bought some presents that people will like. I won't be constructing any homemade projects for people but I will try to give purchases some thought. And if I receive any big J's to hang on my wall, I will be grateful to know that someone cared enough to find the right letter. It just won't be the same if I get a big X.
JAHD
Flowers in California
Monday, December 2, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Changing a Mood
I went to the gym today wearing a shirt that says "Mood Subject to Change Without Notice" and the best I could hope for was a sudden change in a positive direction. I wasn't in a good place.
My time on the treadmill was ok and I enjoyed watching a home improvement show while I stomped along to a 30 minute workout. I suppose things were looking a little better by the time I finished but I still wasn't exactly cheerful and it was still appropriate to be wearing the shirt. It's only fair that people are warned.
As I left the gym, a woman working at the front desk changed everything for me. She acknowledged that I was leaving and told me to have a great day. Her words lifted my mood instantly and I told her to have a great day too. It was all so simple but it really mattered to me.
Perhaps I needed someone to notice my presence. Her words had nothing in particular to do with me but still they showed that I was at least visible and worthy of a small kindness. I am very grateful that she said them.
After leaving the gym, I ran into someone whom it is always nice to see and I had some pleasant interactions on a quick trip into the mall. Everything that has happened since being at the gym has been somewhat affected by those nice words.
We can do little things, bad or good, that make a difference. We may never know how much of a difference we make. But it seems to me worthwhile to keep on trying and flinging some good stuff out there. Maybe someone will catch a little something and pass it on.
JAHD
My time on the treadmill was ok and I enjoyed watching a home improvement show while I stomped along to a 30 minute workout. I suppose things were looking a little better by the time I finished but I still wasn't exactly cheerful and it was still appropriate to be wearing the shirt. It's only fair that people are warned.
As I left the gym, a woman working at the front desk changed everything for me. She acknowledged that I was leaving and told me to have a great day. Her words lifted my mood instantly and I told her to have a great day too. It was all so simple but it really mattered to me.
Perhaps I needed someone to notice my presence. Her words had nothing in particular to do with me but still they showed that I was at least visible and worthy of a small kindness. I am very grateful that she said them.
After leaving the gym, I ran into someone whom it is always nice to see and I had some pleasant interactions on a quick trip into the mall. Everything that has happened since being at the gym has been somewhat affected by those nice words.
We can do little things, bad or good, that make a difference. We may never know how much of a difference we make. But it seems to me worthwhile to keep on trying and flinging some good stuff out there. Maybe someone will catch a little something and pass it on.
JAHD
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
The Guy Who Lives There
I went for a long walk today. Early on, I realized I was walking past the house of a man who is alleged to have committed troubling crimes. The ugly reality of this situation didn't fit with the gentle beauty of the fall day.
The charges against this man are very bad. He is alleged to have harmed children and at least one woman and I do not excuse him for those things. And while I don't know that asking him to leave the neighbourhood is right, I do think that he should not live across from a school and playground. That puts a burden on that institution and all users of the playground. The seriousness of the situation and the protection of children must not be diminished.
With those things being said, I admit to feeling some compassion for this man. When I walk by his house, I'm aware that a human being lives there. It was a beautiful fall day outside for him too. Did he notice that? Does he like the beauty of the colourful leaves on the ground? He's still a person who sleeps and gets up and eats. Does he engage in any innocent activities that bring him joy?
Given the choice, I doubt that this man would choose for his mind to be one which has led him to his crimes. I don't know if he can change and I don't know how he should be handled. What I do know is that I remember his humanity even as I abhor his crimes.
JAHD
The charges against this man are very bad. He is alleged to have harmed children and at least one woman and I do not excuse him for those things. And while I don't know that asking him to leave the neighbourhood is right, I do think that he should not live across from a school and playground. That puts a burden on that institution and all users of the playground. The seriousness of the situation and the protection of children must not be diminished.
With those things being said, I admit to feeling some compassion for this man. When I walk by his house, I'm aware that a human being lives there. It was a beautiful fall day outside for him too. Did he notice that? Does he like the beauty of the colourful leaves on the ground? He's still a person who sleeps and gets up and eats. Does he engage in any innocent activities that bring him joy?
Given the choice, I doubt that this man would choose for his mind to be one which has led him to his crimes. I don't know if he can change and I don't know how he should be handled. What I do know is that I remember his humanity even as I abhor his crimes.
JAHD
Trying Something New
On a Saturday night, 2 weeks ago, I was in a hotel room in Carlsbad California with my family. The weather was surprisingly unpleasant but still, I will never complain about being in Southern California and near the Pacific Ocean. It's a pretty good place to be. The next day's activities were uncertain at that point and, while family vacations have many pleasant elements, there is also an ever-present risk that choices will be made that don't please everybody or perhaps even anybody. It was important to come up with something good.
My phone decided to enter the conversation and suggested that we might like to go to Balboa Park in San Diego. I didn't know about Balboa Park and decided to find out some information about it.
The park's website was helpful and we were interested. Still, though, we couldn't be sure it would be somewhere we'd like to go and while it sounded great, what if it had become rundown or neglected? There was a story on the news that night about a nighttime walk taking place in it. Its purpose was to stand up to violence. That wasn't especially reassuring. But it wasn't even fear that made me hesitate about going. It was new to us - did we want to try it out?
We did decide to try it out, whatever our reservations, and within a few minutes of arriving within that massive urban park, I knew that we had made the right decision. It's an amazing place - there are many museums, gardens, an Arts and Crafts house, and a fascinating history behind every attraction. An enthusiastic man at an information center tried to explain it all to us. It was a lot to take in but soon, brochure in hand, we were able to choose some places to visit. All three of us were interested in the baseball section of the sports museum and I marveled at the Arts and Crafts Marston House. As well, just being in and walking around the park was interesting.
In addition to the information we learned at Balboa Park and the enjoyment we had there that day, I take away more from the experience. I have new pictures in my mind and, more importantly, I have gained an awareness of how important it is to try new things. There are lots of places to go in and around San Diego and we could have returned to somewhere that we knew. But we did this that day and I am glad.
I will try to remember this experience the next time I am in an unknown city or situation. And I will pay close attention from now on to any suggestions my phone makes. It turns out it has some really good ideas.
JAHD
My phone decided to enter the conversation and suggested that we might like to go to Balboa Park in San Diego. I didn't know about Balboa Park and decided to find out some information about it.
The park's website was helpful and we were interested. Still, though, we couldn't be sure it would be somewhere we'd like to go and while it sounded great, what if it had become rundown or neglected? There was a story on the news that night about a nighttime walk taking place in it. Its purpose was to stand up to violence. That wasn't especially reassuring. But it wasn't even fear that made me hesitate about going. It was new to us - did we want to try it out?
We did decide to try it out, whatever our reservations, and within a few minutes of arriving within that massive urban park, I knew that we had made the right decision. It's an amazing place - there are many museums, gardens, an Arts and Crafts house, and a fascinating history behind every attraction. An enthusiastic man at an information center tried to explain it all to us. It was a lot to take in but soon, brochure in hand, we were able to choose some places to visit. All three of us were interested in the baseball section of the sports museum and I marveled at the Arts and Crafts Marston House. As well, just being in and walking around the park was interesting.
In addition to the information we learned at Balboa Park and the enjoyment we had there that day, I take away more from the experience. I have new pictures in my mind and, more importantly, I have gained an awareness of how important it is to try new things. There are lots of places to go in and around San Diego and we could have returned to somewhere that we knew. But we did this that day and I am glad.
I will try to remember this experience the next time I am in an unknown city or situation. And I will pay close attention from now on to any suggestions my phone makes. It turns out it has some really good ideas.
JAHD
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Book Titles For Your Consideration On Topics Important To Us All
Once again, I've come up with some possible book titles. Please take a look and see which ones are of particular interest to you.
1. Goodbye Alonzo: Healing Strategies for When Your Lawn Rabbit Moves On
2. Feet and Toes: A Photographic Extravaganza
3. Efficient Barking for the Modern Dog: Knowing When It Matters and Making It Really Count
4. Dressing Your Rabbit for Halloween: Finding a Costume You Both Will Like
5. Planning Your Indoor Gazebo: A Sensible Approach to a Curious Living Space
6. When Chicken Goes Wrong: Overcoming Your Poultry Fears
7. Autumn's Hidden Danger: Frightening Stumbles on Beautiful but Slippery Leaves
8. The Potato: Finding The Beauty In an Ugly Tuber
9. Birthday Cakes: Don't We All Want Only The Icing, Isn't It Time We Admit This Is True?
10. A Squirrel's Guide to Autumn: Safety and Scheduling Tips for your Busy Gathering Season
11. Sunshine in a Shell: A History of Eggs
12. "They're Organically Sourced and Air-Purifying" - And Other Ways to Explain
Your Embarrassing House Fly Problem
13. Your Leafy Friend: How to Get Closer to An Indoor Houseplant
14. Chair or Bleachers: Solutions to Some of the Baseball Spectator's Common Dilemmas
15. You and Your Nasal Passages: An Important Relationship and One Oft-Neglected
16. When Smoothies Go Wrong: My Life-Changing Experience with a Blender Piece Gone Wild
17. The Pig as a Pet: Ways to Explain Why It Is A Good Idea
18. Nap Like a Pro: Tips for A Happy Rest (With New Bonus Feature: A Study in Drool)
19. Harrowing Crafting Stories from People Not Well-Suited to Crafts
20. My Thoughts on Lettuce (First Time in Book Form)
Your feedback is welcome.
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all!
JAHD
1. Goodbye Alonzo: Healing Strategies for When Your Lawn Rabbit Moves On
2. Feet and Toes: A Photographic Extravaganza
3. Efficient Barking for the Modern Dog: Knowing When It Matters and Making It Really Count
4. Dressing Your Rabbit for Halloween: Finding a Costume You Both Will Like
5. Planning Your Indoor Gazebo: A Sensible Approach to a Curious Living Space
6. When Chicken Goes Wrong: Overcoming Your Poultry Fears
7. Autumn's Hidden Danger: Frightening Stumbles on Beautiful but Slippery Leaves
8. The Potato: Finding The Beauty In an Ugly Tuber
9. Birthday Cakes: Don't We All Want Only The Icing, Isn't It Time We Admit This Is True?
10. A Squirrel's Guide to Autumn: Safety and Scheduling Tips for your Busy Gathering Season
11. Sunshine in a Shell: A History of Eggs
12. "They're Organically Sourced and Air-Purifying" - And Other Ways to Explain
Your Embarrassing House Fly Problem
13. Your Leafy Friend: How to Get Closer to An Indoor Houseplant
14. Chair or Bleachers: Solutions to Some of the Baseball Spectator's Common Dilemmas
15. You and Your Nasal Passages: An Important Relationship and One Oft-Neglected
16. When Smoothies Go Wrong: My Life-Changing Experience with a Blender Piece Gone Wild
17. The Pig as a Pet: Ways to Explain Why It Is A Good Idea
18. Nap Like a Pro: Tips for A Happy Rest (With New Bonus Feature: A Study in Drool)
19. Harrowing Crafting Stories from People Not Well-Suited to Crafts
20. My Thoughts on Lettuce (First Time in Book Form)
Your feedback is welcome.
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all!
JAHD
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Desperate Situations
This past week, 111 people (and probably many more) died after a boat ran into trouble and sank between Africa and Italy. There were 155 survivors. The boat was only about 600 metres from shore when it met its tragic end. The passengers on this boat were attempting migration to Europe. These attempts are not rare:
"Thousands make the perilous crossing each year, seeking a new life in the prosperous European Union. Smugglers charge thousands of dollars a head for the journey aboard overcrowded, barely seaworthy boats that lack life vests. Each year hundreds die undertaking the crossing." (Toronto Star, Article By: Luca Bruno Andrea Rosa Associated Press, Published on Sat Oct 05 2013)
In addition to feeling sad for the many victims of this tragedy, I have concern for the plight of all the people who board these boats. How bad are their lives in the countries from which they come? How dim do their prospects appear? What makes it seem worth the risk to pay the money and crowd onto these dangerous boats?
It would be good, if it were possible, to improve the safety of these boats. Perhaps that should be attempted. It wouldn't address the reasons though why people board them. It wouldn't address the desperate situations in the countries these people leave behind. A tragedy like this can bring to our attention that people in some countries live in terrible conditions. We can then consider what actions may be taken to change that.
Whatever happens in the future, this tragedy has taken place. I feel bad for all those who lost their lives. I am very sorry that their dreams ended as they did.
JAHD
"Thousands make the perilous crossing each year, seeking a new life in the prosperous European Union. Smugglers charge thousands of dollars a head for the journey aboard overcrowded, barely seaworthy boats that lack life vests. Each year hundreds die undertaking the crossing." (Toronto Star, Article By: Luca Bruno Andrea Rosa Associated Press, Published on Sat Oct 05 2013)
In addition to feeling sad for the many victims of this tragedy, I have concern for the plight of all the people who board these boats. How bad are their lives in the countries from which they come? How dim do their prospects appear? What makes it seem worth the risk to pay the money and crowd onto these dangerous boats?
It would be good, if it were possible, to improve the safety of these boats. Perhaps that should be attempted. It wouldn't address the reasons though why people board them. It wouldn't address the desperate situations in the countries these people leave behind. A tragedy like this can bring to our attention that people in some countries live in terrible conditions. We can then consider what actions may be taken to change that.
Whatever happens in the future, this tragedy has taken place. I feel bad for all those who lost their lives. I am very sorry that their dreams ended as they did.
JAHD
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
On Meeting Outside The Pancake House
I walked towards the pancake restaurant. We both knew where it was although I don't think either of us had pancakes during our time in that city. As I walked, I wondered if I would recognize the person I was meeting. It had been over 20 years since we'd seen each other. Some changes could be expected.
I entered the building and saw and knew him right away. The years were gone. A friendly connection was still there. I was happy to see him again.
This reunion wouldn't have happened if not for the encouragement of my friend (his sister) and my brother. Normally, we live thousands of miles apart. For a few days, we would be in the same city.
Even with the encouragement to get together, we could have avoided following up, I could have given into my shyness, the whole thing could have gone by the wayside. We would have missed out, though, on a happy afternoon of coffee and conversation. We would have missed out on a chance to reconnect.
When we don't take opportunities, we don't know what could have been. People don't hold up signs to remind us. It might be better (but weird) if they did. The trip to see my brother and his family would have been good anyways. But this visit made it better. I'm glad I picked up the phone. I'm glad to have a happy memory instead of an unknown absence in my life.
JAHD
I entered the building and saw and knew him right away. The years were gone. A friendly connection was still there. I was happy to see him again.
This reunion wouldn't have happened if not for the encouragement of my friend (his sister) and my brother. Normally, we live thousands of miles apart. For a few days, we would be in the same city.
Even with the encouragement to get together, we could have avoided following up, I could have given into my shyness, the whole thing could have gone by the wayside. We would have missed out, though, on a happy afternoon of coffee and conversation. We would have missed out on a chance to reconnect.
When we don't take opportunities, we don't know what could have been. People don't hold up signs to remind us. It might be better (but weird) if they did. The trip to see my brother and his family would have been good anyways. But this visit made it better. I'm glad I picked up the phone. I'm glad to have a happy memory instead of an unknown absence in my life.
JAHD
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Letting Opportunites Go By
I guess that's how it goes. A local continuing education facility had offered flower arranging courses. Some of them were for a day or even a morning. It would offer a quick trip into that activity and as I know very little about flower arranging, a small sample of it was what I'd want. I love flowers and colours; maybe I would like flower arranging. The idea was in my head.
I did nothing about this. At all. But I knew that the courses were offered. Today I decided that yes, I want to take one. I want to see what's it about. It turns out that those courses aren't offered anymore.
It was so easy to keep this idea, this possibility way at the back of my mind. And it's not a huge issue for me - I don't plan to pursue this field. I was interested in seeing what it was like though and I let a chance go by.
For me, this is a reminder to try to "Seize the Moment" a little bit more. The moment passes. Sometimes it's too late. I'm tracking down other flower arranging courses but I've already learned a lesson. Perhaps it is all for the best as I might sneeze a lot if I worked with flowers for an extended period of time. But I might have learned to make beautiful arrangements too and I'm sorry I missed that.
JAHD
I did nothing about this. At all. But I knew that the courses were offered. Today I decided that yes, I want to take one. I want to see what's it about. It turns out that those courses aren't offered anymore.
It was so easy to keep this idea, this possibility way at the back of my mind. And it's not a huge issue for me - I don't plan to pursue this field. I was interested in seeing what it was like though and I let a chance go by.
For me, this is a reminder to try to "Seize the Moment" a little bit more. The moment passes. Sometimes it's too late. I'm tracking down other flower arranging courses but I've already learned a lesson. Perhaps it is all for the best as I might sneeze a lot if I worked with flowers for an extended period of time. But I might have learned to make beautiful arrangements too and I'm sorry I missed that.
JAHD
Monday, September 16, 2013
Fleeing from the Keyboard
I'm having trouble writing. For a while, I've been starting to write and then, the ideas, the words don't flow and I leave the computer. I don't finish what I start. I don't experience the joy.
I want to trust that the flow will begin again. There is no formal guarantee of that but I choose to trust. I sense that the words are starting to come now. I'm pleased that this is so.
Perhaps I have read too much about writing lately. Perhaps I have read too much about many things lately. But that's ok. It is part of the journey.
I won't force writing. If I have little to say, that's ok for now. I'll wait. And tell myself it's ok.
JAHD
I want to trust that the flow will begin again. There is no formal guarantee of that but I choose to trust. I sense that the words are starting to come now. I'm pleased that this is so.
Perhaps I have read too much about writing lately. Perhaps I have read too much about many things lately. But that's ok. It is part of the journey.
I won't force writing. If I have little to say, that's ok for now. I'll wait. And tell myself it's ok.
JAHD
Monday, September 9, 2013
A Good Enough Birthday But...
It's not that it was a bad day. It had some nice parts. The weather was beautiful. My husband and son tried to do things that would make me happy. I really enjoyed a big family walk and watching my son play baseball. Still, my birthday wasn't as exciting as I'd wanted it to be. What did I want? What should have happened? What would have really made it feel special? It was weird looking at the date various times and seeing my birthday stare back at me. So, this is the big day. Why wasn't it so big?
Some people might say that as an adult, no one should expect much of a splash for a birthday. That kind of thing is for kids. They get the presents, the parties, the excitement of reaching a new age. Maybe. Maybe we should leave it to them. I wonder, though, if maybe we should dedicate a day, just one day, each year in which we honour each person and make them feel special. We don't make them tell us what they want to do. We take the time to show them that we already know what they like to do, who they are and that we really want to make them happy. It's something we want to offer to them.
I don't know exactly what I wanted my birthday to be but yesterday wasn't it. To be quite honest, I want to be celebrated. I think we all should be. I think we're all amazing. We should be reminded of that at least once a year.
JAHD
Some people might say that as an adult, no one should expect much of a splash for a birthday. That kind of thing is for kids. They get the presents, the parties, the excitement of reaching a new age. Maybe. Maybe we should leave it to them. I wonder, though, if maybe we should dedicate a day, just one day, each year in which we honour each person and make them feel special. We don't make them tell us what they want to do. We take the time to show them that we already know what they like to do, who they are and that we really want to make them happy. It's something we want to offer to them.
I don't know exactly what I wanted my birthday to be but yesterday wasn't it. To be quite honest, I want to be celebrated. I think we all should be. I think we're all amazing. We should be reminded of that at least once a year.
JAHD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)